This is the story of Mary and Willi

Modern lovers who never met

They're both looking for that perfect love

Neither one's found it yet


You see, Willi wants his women beautiful

Or Willi don't want 'em at all

If Willi can't have a beauty on his arm

Willi stays home

Willi drinks beer

Willi watches ball

That's why Willi ain't got no woman

Let's see why Mary ain't got no man


Willi ain't got no woman

Mary ain't got no man


Let's take a look at old hard-working Mary

She's got a little business, it's doing well

She says her working life is heaven

Her personal life is hell

Maybe Mary is much too choosy

She might wind up alone

If Mary can't have Mr. Perfect on her arm

Everybody else is wrong


And Mary ain't got no one to call her baby

Willi ain't got no shoulder to lean on

Nothing ordinary is gonna do for Willi or Mary

That's why Willi ain't got no woman

That's why Mary ain't got no man


Willi ain't got no woman

Mary ain't got no man

Willi ain't got no woman

Mary ain't got no man


Willi ain't got no woman



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