Marge:Maybe some cheerier pink would make this place less of a dive.
Moe:Marge, my customers don't like themselves, therefore, they seek the darkness.
Marge:Well, as fabulous as your regulars are, a remodel might bring in a higher class of lush.
Moe:Look, I like Moe's the way it is, alright, and I ain't changin' it for any dames, skirts,
Suzy Qs, or facemacer.
Marge:I had a feeling you'd say that.
So I prepared something that might help you change your tune.
This place is a diamond,
But it's trapped in the rough.
Moe:Yeah, well the sign still says "Moe's,"
So enough of your guff.
Marge:Here's my new idea
To sell both beer and grub:
We will turn this filthy dive
Into a proper old-time British pub.
Moe:A British bar?
Bart and Lisa:Darts and meat pies,
And lager in pint glasses.
What a classy way
To get drunk off your asses!
Moe:Hey, hold the phone! An English pub! That just might work!
All:In song!
Moe:Oh, my bar could be British instead of arm-pittish
So why don't we all--
Ah, screw it, let's get renovating.