Homer:Here you go, honey. Sing this!
Lisa:how did you write a song so quickly?
Homer:Much of the tune is plagiarized. Now go go go!
Lisa:I've been to Paris and London
And Tokyo town,
But one crazy 'berg
Has 'em all beat hands down.
Sideshow Mel:Jacksonville?
Lisa:I'm talkin' Springfield!
You can buy chimichangas.
Talkin' Springfield!
The chicks with big gazongas?
There's tires on fire,
A guy named Apu,
And Skinner and Grampa
And old Disco Stu.
Did I forget to mention you?
Lenny:"You"? That's me!
Lisa:I'm talkin' Springfield
Where nobody sucks!
Except for Flanders.
Krusty:Awwwwww...I get it I get it! She's good! Looks like they love you, kid!
And the audience is always right!
I wish I could say the same thing about my stockbroker!
Homer:Don't worry, honey. The song I wrote you is so shmaltzy,
it'll make "Moon River" sound like a farting orangutan!
Lisa:My kitty died
On Christmas Eve.
Daddy told me to be brave.
But instead of singing carols,
I was digging Snowball's grave.
Lenny:Oh God, I miss Lisa's cat so much.
Krusty:This is our final night! Thirty contestants have already fallen through our Buzz Cola trap door!
Hey, you're supposed to clean this out every night! Whadaya mean "Talk to your chop stuey"?!
Neh! Now, let's welcome the first of our two finalists: Lisa Simpson!
Lisa:Ladies and gentlemen, I have a confession to make.
I didn't have my usual songwriter tonight, so I took a stab at writing my own song.
Something that expresses what's really in my heart. Bernie, if you please.
I'm in the final two,
I should be happy.
But all I want to do
Is spend more time
With my pappy.
Now that you're gone, Dad,
I miss you so much.
And your threats against teamsters
And techies and such.
Your management style
Is like Attila the Hun.
You were vicious, malicious,
But you got the job done.
I'm sorry I hurt you,
Now please don't be sad.
You're no longer my coach
But you're always my dad.
Homer:Ladies and Gentlemen, My Daughter, Lisa Simpson!
Krusty: Even the Applause-O-Meter is crying. Ah. That's better. Oh! Ooh! OW!!
He's about to learn the most important lesson in the music business:
Don't trust people in the music business.
Cameron:I'm a privileged boy,
It's great, I gotta tell ya!
Privileged boy,
My dad can buy and sell ya!
It really doesn't matter
That you're on the list in front of me
I'm gonna get your table,
Cuz I always tip the maitre d'
And then I'll go to Yale
Because I am a legacy!
I'm better than you!
Carl:You suck, Johnny Rainbow!
Lenny:I believed in you!