Bart:Dad, taking the family to opening night is the nicest thing you've ever done for us.
Homer:Or will ever do.
Lisa:I can't wait to see this reimagining of Itchy & Scratchy by avant-garde director Julianna Crelmner.
Homer:Hey, it says here the "book" was written by Tom Stoppard. This isn't a book! It's a play! Book.
African Man:Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamishtanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, kimanee sayfaloooooooooooooor...
Old Cat:All hail the king of the cats.
Cast:Sayfalooooooor, sayfaloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooor...
Marge:They're coming down the aisles!
What if they want to interact with me? Looking through my purse, looking through my purse, keep walking, monkey!
Bart:Don't worry, Mom, they all pass by.
Marge: Oh thank God.
Cast:Itchy-Scratchy, Itchy-Itchy-Scratchy,
Itchy-Scratchy, Itchy-Itchy-Scratchy,
Singing Cat:From the day you were born in the alley,
To the day you were hit by a car,
There's cream to drink and mice to eat
And great big balls of yarn.
It's the circle,
The circle of—
Itchy:KNIFE!
Lisa:I love the use of streamers as blood. It robs the violence of its power.
Bart:Woo-hoo! I'm drenched in "blood"!
Scratchy:I don't know why I trust him.
I guess some cats just never learn.
Itchy:I feel so good when I have crushed him,
Or left him mangled, maimed and burned.
Both:I suppose it's symbiotic,
And perhaps a bit erotic.
Scratchy:'Cause pain is my narcotic.
Itchy:You really liked it?
Scratchy:Yes, I loved it.
Both:And that's why we're always
Itchy:Fighting...
Scratchy:And biting...
Itchy:And dynamite igniting!
Homer:Hey, check it out! I'm Scratcher or somethin'.
Cast:It's the circle,
The circle of knife!
It's the circle,
The circle of knife!