[00:00.52]Lyle Lanley:You know, a town with money's a little like the mule with the spinning wheel.
[00:04.79]No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it
[00:08.31]Homer:Heh-heh, mule.
[00:12.16]Lyle Lanley:The name's Lanley, Lyle Lanley.
[00:14.94]And I come before you good people tonight with an idea.
[00:18.24]Probably the greatest—Aw, it's not for you. It's more a Shelbyville idea.
[00:25.24]Mayor Quimby:Now, wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville.
[00:29.26]Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it.
[00:31.95]Lyle Lanley:All right. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea.
[00:36.53]I give you the Springfield Monorail!
[00:42.50]I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville,
[00:44.87]and North Haverbrook, and, by gum, it put them on the map!
[00:48.47]Well, sir, there's nothin' on earth like a genuine bona-fide electrified six-car monorail!
[00:53.36]What'd I say?
[00:54.37]Ned Flanders:Monorail!
[00:55.40]Lyle Lanley:What's it called?
[00:56.16]Patty and Selma:Monorail.
[00:56.93]Lyle Lanley:That's right!
[00:57.63]Monorail!
[00:58.61]Cast:Monorail...monorail...monorail...
[01:01.58]Miss Hoover:I hear those things are awfully loud.
[01:03.63]Lyle Lanley:It glides as softly as a cloud.
[01:05.37]Apu:Is there a chance the track could bend?
[01:07.46]Lyle Lanley:Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
[01:09.58]Barney Gumble:What about us brain-dead slobs?
[01:11.49]Lyle Lanley:You'll be given cushy jobs.
[01:13.63]Grampa Simpson:Were you sent here by the devil?
[01:15.72]Lyle Lanley:No, good sir, I'm on the level.
[01:17.64]Chief Wiggum:The ring came off my pudding can.
[01:19.53]Lyle Lanley:Take my pen knife, my good man.
[01:21.60]I swear, it's Springfield's only choice!
[01:23.66]Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
[01:25.58]All:Monorail...
[01:27.70]Lyle Lanley:What's it called?
[01:27.77]Monorail...
[01:28.64]Once again!
[01:29.80]MONORAIL!
[01:33.91]Marge:But Main Street's still all cracked and broken.
[01:35.98]Bart:Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
[01:37.85]All:Monorail...
[01:39.85]Monorail!!!!!!!!!
[01:41.92]MONORAIL!!
[01:44.85]MONORAIL!!!!!
[01:46.17]Homer:Mono—D'oh!