Lyle Lanley:You know, a town with money's a little like the mule with the spinning wheel.
No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it
Homer:Heh-heh, mule.
Lyle Lanley:The name's Lanley, Lyle Lanley.
And I come before you good people tonight with an idea.
Probably the greatest—Aw, it's not for you. It's more a Shelbyville idea.
Mayor Quimby:Now, wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville.
Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it.
Lyle Lanley:All right. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea.
I give you the Springfield Monorail!
I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville,
and North Haverbrook, and, by gum, it put them on the map!
Well, sir, there's nothin' on earth like a genuine bona-fide electrified six-car monorail!
What'd I say?
Ned Flanders:Monorail!
Lyle Lanley:What's it called?
Patty and Selma:Monorail.
Lyle Lanley:That's right!
Monorail!
Cast:Monorail...monorail...monorail...
Miss Hoover:I hear those things are awfully loud.
Lyle Lanley:It glides as softly as a cloud.
Apu:Is there a chance the track could bend?
Lyle Lanley:Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
Barney Gumble:What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lyle Lanley:You'll be given cushy jobs.
Grampa Simpson:Were you sent here by the devil?
Lyle Lanley:No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Chief Wiggum:The ring came off my pudding can.
Lyle Lanley:Take my pen knife, my good man.
I swear, it's Springfield's only choice!
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All:Monorail...
Lyle Lanley:What's it called?
Monorail...
Once again!
MONORAIL!
Marge:But Main Street's still all cracked and broken.
Bart:Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
All:Monorail...
Monorail!!!!!!!!!
MONORAIL!!
MONORAIL!!!!!
Homer:Mono—D'oh!