I'm Tex Richman, Mr Texas Tea
People call me "Rich" 'cos I got mo' money
I got more cheddar than some super size nachos
Got cash flow like Robert has dineros
I use more greens than Vincent van Gogh
I make the baker bake my bread outta dough
No, no, don't eat it though, it'll make you ill
There ain't no flour in a hundred dollar bill

He's Tex Richman (oh yeah)
Everybody listen (here we go now)
Just how great it is to be him (It's great to be me)
He's the greatest (I'm the greatest)
You're the lamest! (Woohoohoo)
Muppets are a waste of time
Oh, can't you see? (Uh uh uh uh)

Yeah, it's funny in a rich man's world
When I need a piece of string, I use a string of pearls
If something's for sale, consider it sold
I've got so much gold, I gold plate my gold!
I even got a guy to gold plate my cat
I don't regret much, but I do regret that
If I could start all over, I'd do it all the same
Except I wouldn't gold-plate little Twinkles again!

He's Tex Richman
Everybody listen
Just how great it is to be him (It's great to be me)
He's the greatest (uh, come on)
You're the lamest!
Muppets are a waste of time
Oh, can't you see? (Oh, it's great to be me)

I recall a heartbreaking story
About my own tenth birthday party
Should've been a glorious day for me
I'd have been happy as can be
But the Muppets were there
To put on a show!
They started to dance
They were telling their jokes!
I didn't laugh
I didn't know how!
Then my friends
They all turned around
And they laughed at me!
They laughed at me!
I hate you, Muppets, so!

He's Tex Richman
Everybody listen (come on, y'all)
Just how great it is to be him
(It's easy having this much green, yeah)
He's the greatest (Hey, sing it again)
He's the greatest (Uh, it never gets old)
Muppets are a waste of time
Oh, can't you see?
Little muppets, time to give up your dream