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[00:14.81](Toby)Ladies and gentlemen
[00:16.01]May I have your attention, please?
[00:20.35]Do you wake every morning in shame and despair
[00:22.15]To discover your pillow is covered with hair
[00:25.41]What ought not to be there?
[00:27.47]Well, ladies and gentlemen
[00:29.12]From now on, you can waken at ease
[00:31.49]You need never again have a worry or care
[00:33.25]I will show you a miracle, marvelous rare
[00:37.27]Gentlemen, you are about to see something what rose from the dead!
[00:43.01]On the top of my head!
[00:47.13]'Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
[00:50.75]That's what did the trick, sir
[00:52.53]True, sir, true
[00:54.40]Was it quick, sir? Did it in a tick, sir?
[00:57.82]Just like an elixir ought to do
[01:01.69]How about a bottle, mister?
[01:03.54]Only costs a penny, guaranteed
[01:08.85]Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir?
[01:12.26]You can have my oath, sir
[01:14.02]'Tis unique
[01:15.88]Rub a minute
[01:17.63]Stimulating, i'n it?
[01:19.41]Soon you'll have to thin it
[01:21.13]Once a week!
[01:23.23](Todd)Pardon me, ma'am, what's that awful stench?
[01:25.04](Lovett)Are we standing in an open trench?
[01:26.85](Todd)Must be standing near an open trench
[01:27.85](Lovett)Pardon me, sir, what's that awful stench?
[01:28.55](Toby)Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
[01:31.96]Anything more slick, sir
[01:33.72]Soon sprouts curls
[01:35.51]Try Pirelli's
[01:37.31]When they see how thick, sir
[01:39.03]You can have your pick, sir
[01:40.78]Of the girls
[01:42.74]Want to buy a bottle, misses?
[01:44.24](Todd)What is this?
[01:44.75](Lovett)What is this?
[01:45.86](Todd)Smells like piss
[01:46.85](Lovett)Smells like...EW!
[01:47.96](Todd)Looks like piss!
[01:49.74](Lovett)Wouldn't touch it if I was you, dear!
[01:50.93](Todd)This is piss, piss with ink
[01:51.88](Toby)Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir!
[01:53.58](Todd)Keep it off your boots, sir
[01:54.57]Eats right throught
[01:55.54](Toby)Yes, get Pirelli's, use a bottle of it
[01:57.44]Ladies seem to love it
[01:58.41](Lovett)Flies do, too