(Lovett)That's all very well, but what we gonna do about him
(Todd)Later on when it's dark
We'll take it to some secret place and bury it
(Lovett)Oh, yeah, course we could do that
Don't suppose he's got any relatives
that's gonna come poking around looking for him
Seems a downright shame
(Todd)Shame?
(Lovett)Seems an awful waste
Such a nice plump frame, what's his name has
Had, has, nor it can't be traced
Business needs a lift, debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift, as a gift, if you get my drift
Seems an awful waste
I mean, with the price of meat, what it is
When you get it, if you get it
(Todd)Ah
(Lovett)Good, you got it
Take for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop
Business never better using only pussycats and toast
Now a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste
(Todd)Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion, eminently practical
(Todd)And yet appropriate as always/(Lovett)Well, it does seem a waste
(Todd)Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived without you, all these years I'll never know
(Lovett)Think about it...
(Todd)How delectable!/(Lovett)...lots of other gentlemen'll...
(Lovett)...soon be coming for a shave/(Todd)Also undetectable
(Lovett)Won't they? Think of all them pies!/(Todd)How choice! How rare!
(Todd)For what's the sound of the world out there?
(Lovett)What, Mr. Todd, what, Mr. Todd, what is that sound?
(Todd)Those crunching noises pervading the air
(Lovett)Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, Mr. Todd, yes, all around
(Todd)It's man devouring man, my dear
(Together)And who are we to deny it in here?
(Todd)These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett
And desperate measures are called for
(Lovett)Here we are, hot out of the oven
(Todd)What is that?
(Lovett)It's priest, have a little priest
(Todd)Is it really good?
(Lovett)Sir, it's too good, at least
Then again they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh
(Todd)Awful lot of fat
(Lovett)Only where it sat
(Todd)Haven't you got poet or something like that?
(Lovett)No, you see, the trouble with poet is how do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest
Lawyer's rather nice
(Todd)If it's for a price
(Lovett)Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice
(Todd)Anything that's lean?
(Lovett)Well, then, if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine
Anyway, it's clean
Though, of course it tastes of wherever it's been
(Todd)Is that squire on the fire?
(Lovett)Mercy no, sir, look closer you'll notice it's grocer
(Todd)Looks thicker, more like vicar
(Lovett)No, it has to be grocer, it's green
(Todd)The history of the world, my love...
(Lovett)Save a lot of graves, do a lot of relatives favors
(Todd)...is those below serving those up above
(Lovett)Everybody shaves, so there should be plenty of flavors
(Todd)How gratifying for once to know
(Together)That those above will serve those down below!
(Todd)What is that?
(Lovett)It's fop, finest in the shop
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered with actural shepherd on top
And I've just begun
Here's the politician, so oily it's served with a doily, have one
(Todd)Put it on a bun
Well, you never know if it's going to run
(Lovett)Try the friar, fried, it's drier
(Todd)No, the clerge is really too coarse and too mealy
(Lovett)Then actor, it's compacter
(Todd)But always arrives overdone
I'll come again when you have Judge on the menu
Have charity towards the world, my pet
(Lovett)Yes, yes, I know, my love
(Todd)We'll take the customers that we can get
(Lovett)High-born and low, my love
(Todd)We'll not discriminate great from small
No, we'll serve anyone
(Lovett)We'll serve anyone/(Todd)Meaning anyone
(Together)And to anyone at all!