[ti:the kids]
[ar:eminem]
[00:00.355]{Mr.Mackey}（Eric  Cartman）
[00:00.594]And  everyone  should  get  along..
[00:04.287]Okay  children  quiet  down,quiet  down
[00:07.249]Children  I'd  like  to  introduce  our  new  substitute  teacher  for  the  day
[00:11.632]His  name  is  Mr.Shady
[00:14.31]Children  quiet  down  please
[00:16.415]Brian  don't  throw  that （SHUT  UP!）
[00:18.425]Mr.Shady  will  be  your  new  substitute
[00:19.947]while  Mr.Kaniff  is  out  with  pneumonia （HE'S  GOT  AIDS!）
[00:23.83]Good  luck  Mr.Shady
[00:23.886]{Eminem}
[00:24.297]Hi  there  little  boys  and  girls （FUCK  YOU!）
[00:26.334]Today  we're  gonna  to  learn  how  to  poison  squirrels
[00:28.510]But  first,I'd  like  you  to  meet  my  friend  Bob （Huh?）
[00:30.799]Say  hi  Bob!（"Hi  Bob"）Bob's 30and  still  lives  with  his  mom
[00:33.886]and  he  don't  got  a  job,cause  Bob  sits  at  home  and  smokes  pot
[00:36.637]but  his  twelve-year  old  brother  looks  up  to  him  an  awful  lot
[00:39.138]And  Bob  likes  to  hang  out  at  the  local  waffle  spot
[00:41.365]and  wait  in  the  parking  lot  for  waitresses  off  the  clock
[00:44.450]when  it's  late  and  the  lot  gets  dark  and  fake  like  he  walks  his  dog
[00:47.337]Drag 'em  in  the  woods  and  go  straight  to  the  chopping  blocks （AHH!）
[00:49.975]And  even  if  they  escaped  and  they  got  the  cops
[00:52.395]the  ladies  would  all  be  so  afraid,they  would  drop  the  charge
[00:55.486]'til  one  night  Mrs.Stacey  went  off  the  job
[00:57.764]when  she  felt  someone  grab  her  whole  face  and  said  not  to  talk
[01:00.391]But  Stacey  knew  it  was  Bob  and  said  knock  it  off
[01:02.911]But  Bob  wouldn't  knock  it  off  cause  he's  crazy  and  off  his  rocker
[01:05.642]Crazier  than  Slim  Shady  is  off  the  vodka
[01:08.401]You  couldn't  even  take  him  to  Dre's  to  get  Bob  a "Dr."
[01:11.267]He  grabbed  S  tace'by  the  legs  as  chopped  it  off  her
[01:13.889]and  dropped  her  off  in  the  lake  for  the  cops  to  find  her
[01:16.520]But  ever  since  the  day  Stacey  went  off  to  wander
[01:18.466]they  never  found  her,and  Bob  still  hangs  at  the  waffle  diner
[01:21.784]And  that's  the  story  of  Bob  and  his  marijuana,
[01:23.973]and  what  it  might  do  to  you
[01:25.363]So  see  if  the  squirrels  want  any -it's  bad  for  you
[01:27.324]See  children,drugs  are  bahhhd （c'mon）
[01:27.476]Chorus:Mr.Mackey （Eminem）
[01:29.545]and  if  you  don't  believe  me,ask  ya  dahhhd （ask  him  man）
[01:32.273]and  if  you  don't  believe  him,ask  ya  mom （that's  right）
[01:34.763]She'll  tell  you  how  she  does 'em  all  the  time （she  will）
[01:37.402]So  kids  say  no  to  drugs （that's  right）
[01:40.162]So  you  don't  act  like  everyone  else  does （uh-huh）
[01:42.851]Then  there's  really  nothin  else  to  say （sing  along）
[01:45.675]Drugs  are  just  bad,mmm'kay?
[01:47.263]{Eminem}
[01:47.856]My  penis  is  the  size  of  a  peanut,have  you  seen  it?
[01:50.408]FUCK  NO  you  ain't  seen  it,it's  the  size  of  a  peanut （Huh?）
[01:53.267]Speakin  of  peanuts,you  know  what  else  is  bad  for  squirrels?
[01:56.307]Ecstasy  is  the  worst  drug  in  the  world
[01:58.339]If  someone  ever  offers  it  to  you,don't  do  it
[02:00.839]Kids  two  hits'll  probably  drain  all  your  spinal  fluid
[02:03.533]and  spinal  fluid  is  final,you  won't  get  it  back
[02:05.860]So  don't  get  attached,it'll  attack  every  bone  in  your  back
[02:08.600]Meet  Zach,twenty-one  years  old
[02:10.776]After  hangin  out  with  some  friends  at  a  frat  party,he  gets  bold
[02:13.729]and  decides  to  try  five,when  he's  bribed  by  five  guys
[02:16.538]and  peer  pressure  will  win  every  time  you  try  to  fight  it
[02:19.401]Suddenly,he  starts  to  convulse  and  his  pulse  goes  into  hyperdrive
[02:21.905]and  his  eyes  roll  back  in  his  skull {blblblblblb}
[02:24.233]His  back  starts  tah -look  like  the  McDonald's  Arches
[02:27.141]He's  on  Donald's  carpet,layin  horizontal  barfin {BLEH}
[02:30.34]And  everyone  in  the  apartment  starts  laughin  at  him
[02:32.542]"Hey  Adam,Zach  is  a  jackass,look  at  him!"
[02:35.242]cause  they  took  it  too,so  they  think  it's  funny
[02:37.199]So  they're  laughing  at  basically  nothing  except  maybe  wasting  his  money  Meanwhile,Zach's  in  a  coma,the  action  is  over
[02:43.189]and  his  back  and  his  shoulders  hunched  up  like  he's  practicin  yoga
[02:46.158]And  that's  the  story  of  Zach,the  ecstasy  maniac
[02:48.865]So  don't  even  feed  that  to  squirrels  class,cause  it's  bad  for  you
[02:51.595]Chorus:Mr.Mackey （Eminem）
[02:51.751]See  children,drugs  are  bahhhd （c'mon）
[02:53.682]and  if  you  don't  believe  me,ask  ya  dahhhd （ask  him  man）
[02:56.399]and  if  you  don't  believe  him,ask  ya  mom （that's  right）
[02:59.55]She'll  tell  you  how  she  does 'em  all  the  time （she  will）
[03:01.696]So  kids  say  no  to  drugs （that's  right）
[03:04.434]So  you  don't  act  like  everyone  else  does （uh-huh）
[03:07.06]Then  there's  really  nothin  else  to  say （sing  along）
[03:09.835]Drugs  are  just  bad,mmm'kay?
[03:11.306]{Eminem}
[03:11.681]And  last  but  not  least,one  of  the  most  humungous
[03:14.462]problems  among  young  people  today,is  fungus
[03:17.271]It  grows  from  cow  manure,they  pick  it  out,wipe  it  off,
[03:20.72]bag  it  up,and  you  put  it  right  in  your  mouth  and  chew  it
[03:22.700]Yum  yum!Then  you  start  to  see  some  dumb  stuff
[03:25.187]And  everything  slows  down  when  you  eat  some  of 'em..
[03:28.140]And  sometimes  you  see  things  that  aren't  there （Like  what?）
[03:30.613]Like  fat  woman  in  G-strings  with  orange  hair
[03:32.921]（Mr.Shady  what's  a  G-string?）It's  yarn  Claire
[03:35.861]Women  stick 'em  up  their  behinds,go  out  and  wear 'em （Huh?）
[03:38.692]And  if  you  swallow  too  much  of  the  magic  mushrooms
[03:40.840]Whoops,did  I  say  magic  mushrooms?
[03:42.517]I  meant  fungus  Ya  tongue  gets,all  swoll  up  like  a  cow's  tongue （How  come?）
[03:47.40]cause  it  comes  from  a  cow's  dung （Gross!!）
[03:49.296]See  drugs  are  bad,it's  a  common  fact
[03:51.110]But  your  mom  and  dad,know  that's  all  that  I'm  good  at （Oh!）
[03:53.953]But  don't  be  me,cause  if  you  grow  up  and  you  go  and  O.D.
[03:56.790]They're  gonna  come  for  me  and  I'ma  have  to  grow  a  goatee
[03:59.227]and  get  a  disguise  and  hide,cause  it'll  be  my  fault
[04:01.630]So  don't  do  drugs,and  do  exactly  as  I  don't,
[04:04.290]cause  I'm  bad  for  you
[04:05.424]Chorus:Mr.Mackey （Eminem）
[04:05.445]See  children,drugs  are  bahhhd （c'mon）
[04:07.536]and  if  you  don't  believe  me,ask  ya  dahhhd （ask  him  man）
[04:10.251]and  if  you  don't  believe  him,ask  ya  mom （that's  right）
[04:12.850]She'll  tell  you  how  she  does 'em  all  the  time （she  will）
[04:15.440]So  kids  say  no  to  drugs （that's  right）
[04:18.170]So  you  don't  act  like  everyone  else  does （uh-huh）
[04:20.697]Then  there's  really  nothin  else  to  say （sing  along）
[04:23.449]Drugs  are  just  bad,mmm'kay?
[04:24.907]{Mr.Mackey}（Eric  Cartman）
[04:26.242]Come  on  children,clap  along （SHUT  UP!）
[04:28.868]Sing  along  children （Suck  my  motherfuckin  dick!）
[04:30.624]Drugs  are  just  bad,drugs  are  just  bad （South  Park  is  gonna  sue  me!）
[04:36.286]So  don't  do  drugs （Suck  my  motherfuckin  penis!）
[04:38.729]so  there'll  be  more  for  me （Hippie!God  damnit!）
[04:42.797]（So,fucked  up,right  now..）