[00:01.020]CALLAHAN
[00:01.170]Now when you choose a law career
[00:02.080]The moment you embark
[00:02.920]There is that joke you're bound hear
[00:04.810]A lawyer is a shark
[00:06.800]Ignore that, it's simplistic and it's dumb
[00:10.070]Only some of you will turn out sharks, just some
[00:12.420]The rest are chum
[00:18.890]Our topic is blood in the water
[00:24.170]Kids, it's time you faced
[00:27.740]Law school is a waste
[00:31.090]Oh yes, unless you acquire a taste for
[00:34.890]Blood in the water
[00:38.260]Dark and red and raw
[00:41.500]You're nothing until the thrill of the kill
[00:45.030]Becomes your only law
[00:48.720](spoken) Mr. . . . Shultz , hypothetical question.
[00:51.650]Would you be willing to defend the following banker accused of fraud?
[00:55.390](sung) A kind old grandma took her savings and she sent it
[00:57.530]Off to your client, all she saved since she was born
[01:02.010]Well he promised to invest it, but he spent it
[01:05.560]On prostitutes and heroine and porn
[01:08.230]STUDENT
[01:08.580](spoken) No, I would not want to take that case!
[01:10.780]CALLAHAN
[01:10.980]Wrong! This one is a win unless you're lazy
[01:13.880]Grandma's broke; she'll have some hack from legal aid!
[01:17.600]Put her on the stand and call her old and crazy
[01:20.500]Your guy goes free and he can get you high and laid
[01:25.040]Look for the blood in the water
[01:30.260]Read your Thomas Hobbs
[01:33.600]Only spineless snobs
[01:36.590]Will quarrel with the morally dubious jobs
[01:39.980]Yes, blood in the water
[01:42.980]Your scruples are a flaw
[01:46.320](spoken) Ms. . . . Hupes, hypothetical question.
[01:50.740]Would you be the right lawyer for the following client?
[01:53.130](sung) Say they offer you a bundle for defending
[01:56.080]A famous hit man for the mafia elite
[01:59.640]Seems he missed his chosen prey
[02:01.390]Killed a nun and drove away
[02:03.100]Running over three cute puppies in the street
[02:05.980]STUDENT
[02:06.480](spoken) What, you think I wouldn't defend him just because he's a typical man?
[02:09.520]CALLAHAN
[02:11.750](spoken) Oh, you lesbians think you're so tough
[02:14.860]STUDENT
[02:15.410](spoken) But--
[02:16.400]CALLAHAN
[02:16.870]Oh dear, I fear my comment has offended
[02:20.120]Hard to argue, though, when you're too mad to speak
[02:23.160]Your employment will be very quickly ended
[02:26.560]When they see how your emotions make you weak
[02:30.130]So what's my point? I run a billion dollar law firm!
[02:33.470]And I hire four new interns every year
[02:36.720]From this class I will select four young sharks whom I respect
[02:40.340]And those four will have a guaranteed career
[02:43.330]Do you follow me?
[02:46.010]So I wanna see . . . What?
[02:48.550]STUDENTS
[02:48.950]Blood in the water
[02:50.950]CALLAHAN
[02:51.150]Exactly, let the games begin
[02:54.060]STUDENTS
[02:54.300]Hm-mm-mm-mm
[02:55.000]CALLAHAN
[02:55.600]Four of you will win
[02:57.280]STUDENTS
[02:57.480]Hm-mm-mm-mm-ooh-ooh-ooh
[02:58.480]CALLAHAN
[02:58.730]But just those four with the dorsal fin
[03:01.820]Yes, blood in the water
[03:05.110]So fight and scratch and claw
[03:09.370](spoken) Yes, Miss, uh
[03:10.530]ELLE
[03:11.370](spoken) Woods, Elle Woods
[03:11.620]CALLAHAN
[03:12.520](spoken) Someone's had their morning coffee.
[03:14.770]Would you summarize the case of State of Indiana v. Hurn in your reading?
[03:17.640]ELLE
[03:18.790](spoken) Oh, I wanted to answer the puppy question?
[03:22.430]CALLAHAN
[03:22.630](spoken) But I'm asking you about the assigned reading.
[03:24.820]ELLE
[03:25.070](spoken) Okay, who assigns reading for the first day of class?
[03:28.490]CALLAHAN
[03:29.050](spoken) You have guts, Ms. Woods. Ms. . . . Kenzington
[03:34.450](sung) Let's say you teach a class at Harvard Law School
[03:37.460]A position that you're justly proud about
[03:40.860]But a girl on whom you call hasn't read the case at all
[03:43.840]Should you let it go or--
[03:45.150]VIVIENNE
[03:45.340](spoken) No! I'd throw her out!
[03:46.780]CALLAHAN
[03:49.320]All right, then.
[03:52.460]You have heard your classmate
[03:55.770]You have just been killed
[03:59.230]She cut your throat, so grab your coat
[04:02.720]Yes, you've got guts but
[04:04.870]ALL
[04:05.670]Now there's spilled your
[04:06.280]Blood in the water
[04:09.890]CALLAHAN
[04:10.400]So would you please withdraw
[04:13.230]And if you return
[04:14.740]Be ready to learn
[04:16.240]Or is it unfair?
[04:17.660]Oh, wait I don't care!
[04:19.200]That's just how I rule
[04:20.400]In life and in school
[04:22.110]With fear and shock and gall
[04:24.950]CALLAHAN
[04:25.090]You're nothing until
[04:26.520]STUDENTS
[04:26.870]Blood in the water
[04:27.540]CALLAHAN
[04:27.880]The thrill of the kill
[04:28.780]STUDENTS
[04:29.130]Blood in the water
[04:30.280]CALLAHAN
[04:30.580]Becomes your only law
[04:34.260]STUDENTS
[04:34.510]Blood in the water
[04:35.510]CALLAHAN
[04:35.760]Your only law
[04:36.730]STUDENTS
[04:37.080]Blood in the water
[04:37.940]CALLAHAN
[04:38.430]Your only law
[04:39.530]STUDENTS
[04:39.730]Blood in the water
[04:42.430]BLOOD IN THE WATER!