I'm not the brightest crayon in the box
Everyone says 
I'm dumber than a bag of rocks
I barely even know how to put on my own pants
But I'm a genius in 
France, genius in 
France, genius in 
FranceHoom chaka laka
Hoom chaka laka
Hoom chaka
I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese
I got a negative number on my 
S.A.T.'sI'm not good looking and 
I don't know how to dance
But nevertheless and in spite of the evidence
I am still widely considered to be
A genius in 
France, a genius in 
France, a genius in 
FrancePeople say 
I'm a geek, 
I'm a moronic little freak
And annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique
If I was any dumber, they'd have to water me twice a week
But when the 
Mademoiselles see me, they all swoon and shriek
They dig my mystique, they think 
I'm c'est magnifique
When I'm in 
Paree, I'm the chicest of the chic
They love my body odor and my bad toupee
They love my stripey shirt and my stupid beret
And when I'm sipping on a 
PerrierIn some cafe town in 
St. Tropez
It's hard to keep the fans at bay
They say, "Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait""Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait"
Hemenene humenene
Himenene homenene, poodle, poodle
Folks in my hometown think 
I'm a fool
Got too much chlorine in my gene pool
A few peas short of a casserole
A few buttons missing on my remote control
A few fries short of a happy meal
I couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
Instructions on the heel
Instructions on the heel
But when I'm in 
Provence, 
I get free croissants
Yeah, I'm the guy every 
French lady wants
And if you ask 'em why?
You're bound to get this response(He's a genius in France, genius in France)
That's right(He's a genius in France, genius in France)
You know it(He's a genius in France, genius in France, genius in France)
I'm not the brightest bulb on the 
Christmas tree
But the folks in 
France, they don't seem to agree
They say, "Bonjour, MonsieurWould you take ze picture with me?"
I say, "Oui, oui"
That's right
I say, "Oui, oui"
Oui, ouiHe says, "Oui, oui"
I'm dumber than a box of hair
But those 
Frenchies don't seem to care
Don't know why, mon frere
But they love me there
I'm a genius in 
France, I'm a genius in 
FranceGonna make a big splash when 
I show up in 
CannesGonna make those 
Frenchies scream"You ze man! You ze man! You ze man!"
Like a fine 
Renoir, I've got that je me c'est quoi
Like a fine 
Renoir, I've got that je me c'est
Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo we oo
Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo we oo
Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy
Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy bow
I'm a taco short of a combo plate
But by some twist of fate, all the frogs think 
I'm greatOh, the men all faint and the women scream
They like me more than heavy cream
When I'm in 
Versailles, 
I'm a popular guy
My oh my, 
I'm as French as apple pie
They think 
I'm awfully witty, a riot and a half
When I tell a stupid joke, they laugh(Haw haw haw haw haw)
And laugh(Haw haw haw haw haw haw)
People in 
France have lots of attitude
They're snotty and rude, they like disgusting food
But when they see me, they just come unglued
They think that 
I am one happening dude
Bowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm
I'm about as sharp as a bowling ball
But they like me better than 
Charles De 
GaulleEntre nous, it's very true
The room temperature's higher than my 
I.Q.But they love me more than 
Gerard Depardieu
How did this happen 
I don't have a clue
I'm not the quickest tractor on the farm
I don't have any skills or grace or charm
And most people look at me like
I'm all covered with ants
But I'm a genius in 
France, genius in 
France, genius in 
FranceAnd 
I'm never goin' back, 
I'm never goin' back
I'm never, never, never, never goin' back home again
I'm tearin' up my return flight ticket
Gonna tell the folks back here where they can stick'
Cause I'm never goin' back
I'm never goin' back, 
I'm never goin' back
The girls back home never gave me a chance
But I sho' 'nuff got them frogs in some kinda trance
And I'm aware that it's a most improbable circumstance
But "Great Googily Moogily", 
I'm a genius in 
FranceEvery 
Frenchie that 
I meetJust can't wait to kiss my feet
Get in line, pucker up! 
Tout Suite!
Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy
I'm gettin' even more famous by the hour
I'm stuffed with pastries and drunk with power
Now they're puttin' up my statue by the 
Eiffel Tower
A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left
A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left
I'm the biggest dork there is alive
My mom picked out my clothes for me till 
I was thirty five
And I forgot to mention
I'm not even welcome at the 
Star Trek convention
But the Frenchies think
That my poop don't stink
I'm a genius in 
FranceSay, would you pass the 
Grey Poupon?
Merci beaucoup