Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good 
Gentile girls and the good 
Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled 
Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled and said, with a twinkle in his eye,"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"
The night 
Santa went crazy
The night 
St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of 
Cupid and 
CometAnd he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor 
Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and 
Prancer with an old 
German Luger
And he slashed up 
Dasher just like 
Freddie Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and barbecued 
BlitzenAnd he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"
The night 
Santa went crazy
The night 
Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the 
North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts
There's the 
National Guard and the 
F. B. I.There's a van from the 
Eyewitness 
NewsAnd helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh 
Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy
Yes, Virginia, now 
Santa's doing time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixen's in therapy and 
Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say 
Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights
They're talkin 'bout the night 
Santa went crazy
The night 
St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped
Wo, the night 
Santa went crazy
The night 
St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain