They say ambition is an enemy of greatness And greatness is an enemy of fame When I pick up my guitar And I try to write a song I think of what my mentor used to say: "Who ****ing gives a rat's ass, Steve? Just write a love song Cause they'll keep your belly full And your wallet lined Don't bother these nice people With your sad sack songs If you ask me I think they're just a waste of time" Inspiration is the best friend of my sorrow And sorrow is the best friend of my drink Well I wanna look myself in the eye tomorrow But I'm too worried about what other folks will think "Who ****ing gives a rat's ass, Steve? Just write a love song See a counselor If you need to ease your troubled mind And could you please sit over there I don't want you crying in my beer Do you want some cheese with all that whine?" There's a song that I keep trying to sing to no one But I'm afraid that it's too short or it's too long And to add to all the things that I'm afraid of The devil stopped sending me his songs And the troubles in my heart need to get let out The troubles in my heart need to escape And I never liked writing poetry And I never liked doing pottery And god knows that I never learned to paint So every now and then, I'll sing a sad song Cause it keeps my spirit light, my conscience clean And if you don't care to hear it I don't mind if you go out for some air Cause I'm happy that you're happier than me I'm happy that you're happier than me I'm happy that you're happier than me