We slept in this morning and she had to get ready in a hurry

No time for her usual attention to detail

And she ran out the door
Slamming it behind her

Leaving her keys swinging and janglin

Stayed in bed until I heard the downstairs door shut
Then peeked through the blinds and as soon as she was out of sight
I went for the keys  she never tried to make a secret of the box or the
It was locked or even where she kept it

But as I said at the time

If youve nothing to hide  why hide it

Its one of those wee red cashbox things

And she keeps it in a drawer by the bed
Under some pictures and books

Every key she has is on the same keyring

It took me a while to find the right o

Dont know  I suppose Ive had my doubts for a while
Theres been hushed phone-calls virtually every night

Her friends stop talking when I come in the room
And they look at each other

And I Know  its just a feeling  anyway

I eventually found the right key and it fitted perfectly in

I put the box on top of the bed and opened it up

There were these pictures of friends

And exs  letters  postcards  doodles  nothing bad

And then I found some sort of sex diary

And I went to the latest entry
It explicity detailed a recent a
Ure up the park with a boy she said she had forgotten about

And it got worse as it went on

The dates never made sense

There were people I had never even heard of

Eventually I had to stop reading it
Because I started to feel sick

So I put everything but the way I found it

Shut the drawer and phoned you

See  I dont know what to do

I keep having fantasies about leaving

Her dictaphone under the pillow

Or following her when she goes to work

I've been lying about where Im going

Just in case I can bump into her