It was the biggest ever cock

You'd ever seen  but you've
No idea where that cock has been

You said you were careful

You never were with me

I heard you did it four times
And jonnies come in packs of three

She was the best shag
I'd ever had

That doesn't mean I'm saying

Bedwise  you were bad

I think you were working

We got a hotel

We didn't have anything
But I thought I might as well

I never told the rest

I was drunk and I told you
I was thinking about a test

You know I just said it for effect

Then you laughed and said
I'd f**k anything in a skirt once

I'm erect

And she's a famous harlot
In this town

I know enough to  but still
I couldn't turn her down

He said I'm an arsehole

What was I thinking
It's far too easy to blame it

On the drinking