You guys seem like you're on my side, right? 
Alright, let's change that.
Grab a seat, have something to eat, help yourself, it's alright.
If you want a beer, they're over here, but we only got Coors Light.
Try a chip with my homemade dip, the stuff is outta sight. 
Right before bed, we'll shave your head, good thing you're dressed in white.
'Cause it's the Klan Kookout
'Cause it's the Klan Kookout
Here's the wife-slash-sister, 
She brightens up my day.
She went away and I missed her, 
'Cause my mom's a lousy lay.
Don't hang with foreign fellows, 
It'll only be your loss.
Stay here and roast marshmallows,
By the burning cross.
At the Klan Kookout.
Just the Black people! (silence, laughter)
Klan Kookout. 
Dan's on lookout. 
At the Klan Kookout.
And if you're Black, don't want to see your face.
They're like a high-school track, just a stupid race.
We've got a plan, kill all the Jews.
Are you a Mexican, because you seem confused,
"Señor? que, que, que?" [KKK]
It's the Klan Kookout,
It's the Klan Kookout
Mein Kampf?
Check that book out, yeah.
At the Klan Kookout.
"All men are created equal", man that shit gets me pissed.
Here's an idea for a sequel, someone loses Schindler's List.
I cook, I clean, 'cause I'm the hooded host,
And on Halloween, I dress as a... slave owner.
We hate Hispanics, hence the twenty-foot walls,
And all you goddamn dirty Catholics, can Cath-o-lick my balls.
Ethnics give off weird aromas, and I can't understand,
Why we need high-school diplomas, with the bible in hand.
At the Klan Kookout. I have black friends.
I was just kidding with that... I don't have black friends.