Princess Rap Battle:
Galadriel versus Leia!
Let the rap battle begin!
G:One does not simply walk into this fight
I’m the baddest ***** in Middle Earth, the Lady of Light
I look better in white, you should flee from my sight
I’ll strike you down like Obi-Wan cause I’m colder than carbonite
You battle me? You’re not strong enough
A human break an elf? You don’t live long enough
You better listen hard through those donuts in your hair
By the time I end this line you will love me and despair
L:Calm down grandma, you’re ugly when you’re mad
Showing off your dark side? You remind me of my dad
What a strong female character obsessed with a ring
And you had to send a group of men to fix everything
When Sauron took over you hid in a tree
I led the Rebel Alliance and we saved the whole galaxy
When I am done with you you will be nothing but a crater
My words explode like bombs, I’m a verbal detonator
G:What have your films had, like thirteen re-edits?
L:Well, most of your runtime is spent on the credits
We’re on movie number seven while you’re still on your sixth
G:Yes, but unlike you we don’t pretend that three don’t exist
L:You’re like a Stormtrooper 'cuz your shots never hit
I wore one gold bikini and the world lost its ****
I’ll rap faster, outlast her, outclass her, surpass her
I’m a master with a blaster, you’re a renn faire disaster
I walk in the sky while you’re stuck on the land
Just a hippie hobbit-humper, unblinking and bland
No light saber needed to take you out
Search your feelings, you will forfeit this bout
G:I will…
Never give in to your Jedi mind, trick
And after Jabba’s eager tongue you should know when you’re licked
My lyrics so wet I’m like a rhyming typhoon
How’s Alderaan doing? Sorry, too soon?
I see things that were, things that are, things that may be
I’m fully operational, it’s over, baby
You shall not pass, challenge another
You can kiss my ass, pretend it’s your brother