[00:00.36]I always thought my movie,
[00:03.22]Would be a comedy,
[00:04.88]Not quite the tragedy,
[00:06.63]That it's become,
[00:08.34]More slapstick,
[00:09.97]Then chick flick,
[00:11.69]More Caddy Shack,
[00:13.50]Then Breakfast at Tiffany's,
[00:15.30]So thank me at the podium,
[00:18.49]For a life time of Contribution,
[00:22.44]Turn on the cameras,
[00:23.72]Someone queue the extras,
[00:25.24]Hair and makeup to the set,
[00:28.35]Because the big screen's,
[00:29.64]Calling final casting call,
[00:31.68]It's your big shot baby,
[00:33.34]You're the next big star,
[00:35.19]Another stupid movie,
[00:36.24]About a guy with a broken heart,
[00:39.29]It's falling apart,
[00:41.61]Heading for the cutting room floor,
[00:43.54](Heading for the cutting room)
[00:44.62]In the sequel honey,
[00:46.15]I'm the guy,
[00:47.44]Who gets the girl,
[00:53.28]So if you miss my movie,
[00:56.20]Get the DVD,
[00:57.81]Check out the chemistry,
[00:59.45]Between you and me,
[01:01.27]Less Raising Arizona,
[01:04.55]More Steel Magnolias,
[01:07.84]So when you walk down that red carpet,
[01:11.64]I hope you trip and fall,
[01:15.25]I hope someone squirts,
[01:16.56]You with a water gun,
[01:18.11]A supersoaker filled with pee,
[01:21.94]Because the big screen's,
[01:23.37]Calling final casting call,
[01:25.18]It's your big shot baby,
[01:26.54]You're the next big star,
[01:28.43]Another stupid movie,
[01:30.24]About a guy with a broken heart,
[01:33.06]It's falling apart,
[01:35.39]Heading for the cutting room floor,
[01:37.32](Heading for the cutting room)
[01:38.22]In the sequel honey,
[01:40.03]I'm the guy,
[01:41.31]Who gets the girl,
[01:43.13]All apologizes to Kevin Costner,
[01:46.80]And that chick from Monster,
[01:49.62]Give me Adam Sandler, Will Farrall, Belushi, and even Val Kilmer,
[01:56.32]He was funny in Real Genius,
[01:58.84](What about Top Gun?)
[02:00.68]No, Top Gun wasn't funny,
[02:02.00](Whatever,)
[02:03.55]Top Secret was funny too,
[02:06.72]But he sucked as Batman,
[02:08.36]The big screen's,
[02:09.55]Calling final casting call,
[02:11.55]It's your big shot baby,
[02:12.96]You're the next big star,
[02:14.79]Another dumb movie,
[02:16.68]About a guy with a broken heart,
[02:19.57]I'm falling apart,
[02:21.74]Steven Spielberg's calling,
[02:23.46]And he's setting up cars,
[02:25.28]It's your big shot baby,
[02:26.41]You're the next big star,
[02:28.26]Another stupid movie,
[02:29.98]About a guy with a broken heart,
[02:32.88]It's falling apart,
[02:35.36]Heading for the cutting room floor,
[02:37.29](Heading for the cutting room)
[02:38.22]In the sequel honey,
[02:39.93]I'm the guy,
[02:44.26]Who gets the girl, (x6)
[02:46.69]I'm the guy,
[02:47.97]That gets the girl,
[02:57.53]Who gets the girl,