[00:15.25]Click close.
[00:21.85]You gotta click close.
[00:28.81]Just got hard-pressed underneath my desk
[00:31.12]no jest! It's time Frontalot confessed:
[00:32.92]at the best of times got the worst of rhymes
[00:34.83]and I don't think I'm the first to find
[00:36.63]my life devoted less to lyrics
[00:38.00]than it is to my struggle for Pyrrhic
[00:40.22]victory in the race to be
[00:42.48]the intarweb's number one devotee
[00:44.29]of smutty little things that occur on screen.
[00:45.84](Risqué to hey! Quintuple-X obscene.)
[00:47.65]MILFs who shave themselves so cleanly
[00:49.37]twins in positions unseemly.
[00:51.04]My spleen ain't the part that gets vented
[00:52.96]I grabbed a hold and fapped like I meant it.
[00:54.71]Distended, probably oughta leave it alone
[00:56.36]spend more time stroking on the microphone.
[01:00.75]Got a boatload of midgets and they're in command
[01:02.91]of a full-grown woman on her knees and hands.
[01:06.89]Got a long hard donkey and a farmgirl too
[01:10.61]and the braying's so dismaying when he starts to spoo.
[01:14.39]You gotta click close, put it away
[01:17.96]'cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y.
[01:29.08]Lurking in #pass chans on the IRC,
[01:30.64]got DCC’d unexpectedly
[01:32.66]with an 80-minute XviD: Nuns In Heat
[01:34.31]Part III: Bad Habits. I’m so l337
[01:36.17]that I had that one already.
[01:37.85]Skipped to the part with the fishnet teddy.
[01:39.81]Whipped it out, but to my chagrin,
[01:41.63]one toss from a win when the boss walked in,
[01:43.44]said “nuh-uh Front, that terminal ain’t
[01:45.25]for a latex crucifix spanking a taint
[01:47.17]in big 32-bit color
[01:48.64]while them rosary beads get yanked out the cruller.”
[01:50.50]I said “you can’t fire me; I quit!”
[01:52.11]Opened up the case, yanked out the hard disk.
[01:54.38]Absconded, all with the data in hand:
[01:56.39]31 years of Hustler scans;
[01:58.15]plans for how to construct a love-swing;
[01:59.86]alt.binaries.everything
[02:01.52]archived since spring of ’92;
[02:03.31]receipt for my RealDoll’s stripper shoes;
[02:05.54]tools for an online poll I ran
[02:07.01](vote once, tub girl or goatse man);
[02:08.81]glands galore, explore for hours;
[02:10.64]diaper play and roman showers;
[02:12.44]glory hole video, deep as it gets;
[02:14.09]mpegs of an heiress that she ought regret,
[02:16.13]cap’d on cam from a hijacked feed.
[02:17.68]Half a terabyte, so whatcha need?
[02:19.79]Got grannies in the front, trannies in the back,
[02:21.59]red on brown on blond on black,
[02:23.19]ganged up, tied up, all alone:
[02:25.01]every delectation to which I’m prone.
[02:26.92]Got the Japanese schoolgirl tentacle love.
[02:31.80]Got the furries in a flurry, they been yiffing it up.
[02:35.41]Got a Craig’s List poster trading poo for pee.
[02:39.09]Got a deep dark dungeon full of hot bi Swedes.
[02:43.11]Got to click close, put it away
[02:46.69]‘cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y.
[02:51.19]The backslash on my keyboard’s stuck.
[03:13.83]Mouse wheel don’t turn ‘cause it’s all gummed up.