作曲 : Robert Lopez/Trey Parker/Matt Stone
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: And lo, the Lord said unto the Nephites:
"I know you're really depressed, what with all your... AIDS and everything...
But there is an answer in Christ."
NABULUNGI: You see? This book CAN help us!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: I just told a lie.
No,wait, I didn't LIE...
I just used my imagination...
And it worked!
CUNNINGHAMS FATHER: You're making things up again, Arnold.
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: But it worked, dad!
CUNNINGHAMS FATHER: You're stretching the truth again,
And you know it-
JOSEPH SMITH: Don't be a Fibbing Fran, Arnold.
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Joseph Smith...?
SMITH AND FATHER: Because a lie is a lie.
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: It's not a lie!
MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and FATHER: You're making things up again, Arnold!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Oh, conscience!
MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and FATHER: You're taking the holy word
And adding fiction!
Be careful how you prcoeed, Arnold.
When you fib, there's a price.
MUTUMBO: Ahh, this it bullshit!
The story that I have been told is that the way to cure AIDS is by sleeping with a virgin!
I'm going to go and rape a baby!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: What?! Oh my-NO! You cant do that!!! NO!
MUTUMBO: Why not?!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Because that is DEFINITELY against God's will!
MUTUMBO: Says who?!
Where in that book of yours does it say ANYTHING about sleeping with a baby, huh?!
Nowhere.
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Uh, behold! The Lord said to the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith:
"You SHALL NOT have sex with that infant!"
LO! Joseph said: "Why not, Lord? Huh? Why not?"
And the Lord said, "If you lay with that infant, you shall.... BURN in the fiery pits of Mordar!!!"
MUTUMBO: ...really?
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Uh-uh... Uh-uh! "A baby cannot cure your illness, Joseph Smith.
I shall give unto you... a FROG! And thus,
Joesph laid with the frog, and his AIDS was no more!
MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and DAD: You're making things up again, Arnold.
You're recklessly warping the words of Jesus!
HOBBITS: You cant just say what you want, Arnold!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Come, on, Hobbits!
ALL: You're digging yourself a deep hole!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: I'm making things up again...kind of.
But this time, it's helping a dozen people!
It's nothing so bad, because this time,
I'm not committing a sin,
Just by making things up again, right?!
ALL:NO!
NABULUNGI: Elder Cunningham, you have to stop him!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: What? What is it?
NABULUGI: Gotswana is going to cut off his daughter's ********!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Huh?!
GOTSWANA: This is all very interesting, but women have to be circumcised if that's what the General wants!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: No, doing that to a lady is definitely against Christ's will!
GOTSWANA: How do you know?!
Christ never said NONE about no ********!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: ...YES! YES HE DID!
In ancient New York, three men were about to cut off a Mormon woman's...********.
But...right before they did, Jesus had... BOBA FETT turn'em into FROGS!
GOTSWANA: Frogs?
ASMERET: You mean like the frogs that got ****ed by Joseph Smith?!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Right! Right! Like THOSE frogs!
For a ******** is holy amongst ALL things, said he!
MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, DAD, and HOBBITS: You're making things up again, Arnold. (UGANDANS:We're learning the truth!)
CHORUS: Youre taking the holy word And adding fiction! (UGANDANS: The truth about God!)
CHORUS: Be careful how you proceed, Arnold.
When you fib, there's a price! ( UGANDANS: We're going to paradise! )
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Who would have thought I had this magic touch?
Who'd believe I could man up this much?
I'm talking, they're listening,
My stories are glistening
I'm gonna save them all with this stuff!
(UGANDANS: Ooooh- La)
CHORUS:You're making things up again, Arnold! (UGANDANS: Elder Cunningham!)
CHORUS: You're making things up again, Arnold! (UGANDANS: Holy prophet man!)
CHORUS: You're making things up again, Arnold! (UGANDANS:Our savior!)
ELDER CUNNINGHAM:You're making things up again...
WIZENED OLD JEDI MASTER: Hmmm, up again making things you are-
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: ...Arnold...