作词 : Lowery Lowery I say baby, it ain't gonna suck itself Virgin Records, it ain't gonna suck itself I say baby, it ain't gonna suck itself What 'chew waiting for? it ain't gonna suck itself Well I flew out from Virginie on the very first day I heard my record company exercise my pay to play Went to see Mr. Lott but his assistant said no "Security will escort you to the parking lot" It was 102 degrees I was feeling kind of hot So I walked across the street for one of those Mexican frozen popsicles Couldn't buy just one so I bought myself a box When I come back the assistant she's standing in the parking lot No hard feelings do you want one of these? But she looks at me like I was speaking Chinese The security man walks up he helps himself to one Coincidently Chinese and hot from standing in the sun Then he helps himself to another he puts it in her hand But she looks at it like it was a piece of crap Or a dead and dying bird she didn't understand So I was just trying to be helpful when I said... Baby, it ain't gonna suck itself Oh Virgin Records, it ain't gonna suck itself I beg to differ cousin, it should be, it ain't gonna lick itself Ok we'll try it that way It ain't gonna lick itself Well I'm standing in the parking lot waiting on my ride His name is Jackson Haring and he's still inside He went in through mailroom for some record company swag But this Virgin Records there ain't shit to be had And the halls they was empty because everyone was laid off And he took a wrong turn ends up in the tape vault Only one thing to do when you’re standing face to face With the Sticky Fingers, Let It Be master tapes You've got to stick them in the satchel and head on the down the hall Saying these will go nicely with that Residents eyeball Many years ago while working for Bill Graham Presents A prop eyeball was stolen backstage from The Residents And the rumor went around that Jackson was the thief But that's neither here nor there and I was sitting in the jeep Looking at the Sticky Fingers master tapes My popsicle’s dripping on the seat so I throw it out the window And it lands at the feet of Roy Lott Hey Roy, it ain't gonna suck itself Ah Virgin Records, it ain't gonna suck itself And one time for the ladies, It ain't gonna lick itself Ah Virgin Records, it ain't gonna suck itself Baby, it ain't gonna suck itself Everyone at Virgin Records, it ain't gonna suck itself One for the ladies, it ain't gonna lick itself What 'chew waitin' for, it ain't gonna suck itself Mr. Lott, it ain't gonna suck itself Everyone on Foothill Road, it ain't gonna suck itself Just so we're not totally sexist, it ain't gonna lick itself Virgin Records, it ain't gonna suck itself