[00:09.37]Yeah, I was a nice kid
[00:11.72]Grew up with a family and like them
[00:13.64]Always had some food on my plate and a place to bite in
[00:16.25]But all a sudden it's like a switch flipped
[00:18.42]Inside my head tellin' me I don't deserve ****
[00:21.15]Man I would wake up, and then I perch into the mirror
[00:24.21]Pick apart the imperfections on the person who'd appear
[00:26.95]'Cuz I don't love myself or the way that I looked
[00:29.43]I was a little fat and hated all that weight on my foot
[00:32.22]All that weight on my shoulders. Everyday just depressed
[00:34.88]Everyday gettin' older and everyday feelin' less
[00:37.68]My homie's like "I can tell you got some **** on your chest
[00:40.35]My mama drinks a little bit and said it eases the stress."
[00:43.13]And I'm like a'ight
[00:44.11]We walked to his crib and we stole the bottle
[00:46.29]I started feelin' nervous but drank it then felt hollow
[00:48.72]He dapped me up and said "My mom's about to be back
[00:51.30]But there's some more inside the liquor cabinet
[00:53.26]We can drink tomorrow
[00:54.31]I'm like "Yeah, yeah homie. Don't worry it's cool
[00:56.71]I gotta go to bed early so I wake up for school
[00:59.50]But after that we gonna dabble in the greatness of booze."
[01:02.19]Then boom I blacked out
[01:03.67]I didn't wake up till noon
[01:04.88]Alarm ringing the bell
[01:06.10]My mom's ringing my cell
[01:07.46]She's pissed off 'cuz she heard that I've been drinking myself
[01:10.32]But she don't understand that deep inside I'm drinking for help
[01:13.08]I said "**** it, I'm leaving. I don't need you to yell"
[01:15.95]I packed my bags up then crashed with a couple of friends
[01:18.48]Couple months have went by and still the buzzin' won't end
[01:21.23]I think I'm more sad now then I ever have been
[01:23.89]I need some stronger medication, so I called up a friend
[01:26.75]I said "Listen homie, all that drinking **** ain't working man
[01:30.08]Give me something else
[01:30.92]He like "Chill I got the percocets
[01:32.54]I'm getting more tomorrow if you like it you can buy them next.
[01:35.29]I said "Deal." Met in person then I tried the ****
[01:38.14]Within the hour I'm loving the new thrill
[01:40.50]Hit my friend back and said "Could you cut me a new deal?
[01:43.19]I need all of the blue pills the **** is just too ill."
[01:45.99]I'm confused 'cuz his mood was prudent and too thrilled
[01:48.64]He was happy, that I been strugglin' loss
[01:51.33]'Cuz he knew that in the end and it could double his guap
[01:54.11]Where my struggle would begin, then his struggle would stop
[01:56.74]But I still bought all of his product when we linked at the spot
[01:59.44]So fast forward a few weeks, I'm addicted to drugs
[02:02.20]Somehow my momma found out and pulled me back from the thugs
[02:04.91]Moved me back into her crib and tried to show me her love
[02:07.64]But I was numb and only interested in gettin' a buzz
[02:10.24]And it's ****** up, 'cuz she was only tryna be nice
[02:13.04]I didn't listen. ****, I left and I stayed out for the night
[02:15.81]Man I went clubbin' with my homies that were down for the lines
[02:18.42]Then went home the next day to make a mountain of lies
[02:21.25]**** I woke up around 3, heard a knock at the door
[02:23.96]Then these voices started talkin', **** I heard 'em before
[02:26.63]I couldn't put my finger on it so I had to explore
[02:29.39]But on the table was the bottle that I left in my drawer
[02:32.32]****
[02:33.09]My mom found it, turned around to see the family
[02:35.08]They all lookin' down at me and they ain't lookin' happily
[02:37.92]That's when I realized what the **** this is
[02:40.43]Y'all are here to try to take away my substances
[02:43.18]My mom reached forward then grabbed the bottle of the countertop
[02:46.20]She looked at me and said "Chase, this has to stop."
[02:49.13]I lashed out and said "It stops when I decide it will."
[02:51.84]I grabbed the bottle from her hand, do not deny the pills
[02:54.59]And I ran up to my room
[02:56.82]Grabbed the gun that I had hidden and a couple of blues
[02:59.41]Crushed the tablets on the table hit a couple of snoots
[03:02.09]And put the clip inside the gun load it back and then
[03:04.93]I see my family walking up to me
[03:08.94]I wish that I could say I'm sorry for this *******
[03:11.40]I never meant to hurt you
[03:12.59]But I was hurt and had to ******* leave
[03:14.29]It's almost like they heard me ******* say it cause they hugging me
[03:17.00]Oh mama you can't shake me awake
[03:19.11]Stop trying, I'm gone let it enter your brain
[03:22.00]Your hearts gonna break, had every ******* thought on my face
[03:24.67]But let you learn from my lesson so you don't make the mistake
[03:27.52]Just tell my story and let them know that I'm sorry
[03:30.33]I used to love the thought of death but now the reapers upon me
[03:33.07]And **** I'm scared
[03:33.99]Save me mom I'm passing away
[03:35.65]I wish I didn't put that bullet through the back of my brain