作曲 : Lynne
On the seven seas, there was a phantom ship a-comin',
 Shinin' in the dead of night,
 I heard the crew a-hummin'
 Tunes that sounded like the Rolling Stones and Leonard Cohen.
 But they didn't know the words,
 So I assumed that they was foreign.
 
 But I heard them just the same.
 Oh, doctor, let me teach 'em,
 I just wanna please 'em now.
 I said, "Doctor, let me teach 'em,
 I just wanna please 'em now."
 
 I looked up in the sky: there was a phantom plane a-comin',
 Shinin' in the dead of night,
 I heard the pilot saying
 Poems that were written by John Keats and Robert Browning.
 But he didn't know the words,
 So I suppose that it was nothing.
 
 But I heard them just the same.
 Oh, doctor, let me teach 'em,
 I just wanna please 'em now.
 I said, "Doctor, let me teach 'em,
 I just wanna please 'em now."
 
 Oh, doctor, please believe me,
 I know you won't deceive me,
 But do these things I'm seein'
 Have any hidden meaning.
 It's all good entertainment,
 And it doesn't cost a penny.
 So please, doc, let me teach 'em,
 If I could only reach 'em.
 
 But I heard them just the same.
 Oh, doctor, let me teach 'em,
 I just wanna please 'em now.
 Oh, doctor, let me teach 'em,
 I just wanna please 'em now.