[00:00.00]BISHOP:Floyd's in trouble, that's fer sure
[00:01.98]But I's in much worse
[00:03.98]'Fore he could shave!
[00:05.98]So don't talk to me 'bout brave
[00:08.28]DOYLE:I used to go for caves and stuff
[00:10.32]Back when I was scrawny enough to get down in there
[00:14.45]Thought I'd be a billionaire
[00:16.43]BISHOP:Once when I was underground
[00:18.77]I heard an awesome sound
[00:20.87]Above my head
[00:22.97]Thought for sure I's dead
[00:25.37]In a flash and like a flood
[00:27.34]Boulders, rocks and sand and mud
[00:29.31]Smashed me down
[00:30.91]DOLYE:I do declare!
[00:31.62]BISHOP:Uh huh!
[00:33.20]I cussed and screamed and hollered and swore
[00:35.80]Goddamn, I almost tore my arm off
[00:38.58]To do it
[00:39.88]But that's how you get through it
[00:41.72]It weren't no picnic but by damn it was done
[00:47.45]'Tween a rock an' a hard place
[00:49.23]I've been there plenty of'en
[00:51.60]'Tween a rock an' a hard place
[00:53.40]An' I ain't in a coffin!
[00:55.27]If you look death right in the face
[00:57.77]The hardest place'll soften!
[01:00.34]That's where I thrive, I'm still alive
[01:02.94]At the reaper I'm a-scoffin', I'm a-scoffin'
[01:07.65]JEWELL:Well now Bishop, I'm impressed!
[01:10.02]I didn't know that you was blessed
[01:11.68]With such a fine imagination
[01:13.45]But I had a tougher situation:
[01:15.72]One day I'm fishin' in my boat
[01:18.16]Fall asleep an' I start to float
[01:20.29]Down the river
[01:21.99](Aww!)
[01:22.39](Like a baby in a cradle)
[01:23.88]JEWELL:Shut up!
[01:24.85]When I wake, the water's white
[01:26.83]It takes me all my might
[01:28.88]To keep from flippin'
[01:30.42]Round n' round she's whippin'
[01:32.90]'Fore I even have time to think
[01:35.21]Bobbin' around, in the drink
[01:37.21]Cascadin' down, to the brink
[01:39.38]Of a waterfall
[01:40.74]One hundred fifty-five foot tall
[01:43.25]I thought— if I'm goin' straight to hell
[01:45.75]You know what Lord, I might as well
[01:47.75]Enjoy it some!
[01:49.71]'Cause Devil, here I come!
[01:51.46]I said—
[01:52.08]Hee hee hee
[01:54.03]Da dee dee dee dee dee!
[01:55.48]Ooh!
[01:56.56]ALL:Ah dee dee dee dee dee, dee dee de de-doo
[02:00.28]JEWELL:I must'a had a pretty good landin'
[02:02.53]'Cause here I am, before you standin'
[02:04.60]Am I not?
[02:05.88]I'm tough as snot
[02:08.37]ALL:It weren't no picnic but by damn it was done
[02:12.74]DOYLE:God damn, I was a soldier.
[02:14.28]I'ma make you pansies hold your breath.
[02:16.54](My good granny, Doyle. Now you goin' tell us that you was a soldier?)
[02:18.22]DOYLE:Let me tell you somethin' about death
[02:20.22]Nineteen hundred seventeen:
[02:22.34]Met the Germans, they was mean
[02:24.59]On the battlefield
[02:26.02]Thought my fate was sealed
[02:28.43]Shot a hole clean through my stomach
[02:30.82]Weren't much left to my stomach
[02:32.86]When they was done
[02:34.60]Thought they had the battle won!
[02:36.77]Couldn't move an inch, couldn't get away
[02:38.80]Gushin' like a pig on slaughter day
[02:40.97]Didn't look like no bouquet of daffodils
[02:44.18]—No sir!
[02:45.11]The day was comin' closer
[02:47.25]With my last mortar shell
[02:49.38]I blew those Germans back to hell
[02:51.58]Where they belong!
[02:53.55]Correct me if I'm wrong—
[02:55.42]ALL:It weren't no picnic but by damn it was done
[02:59.22]And by damn it was fun!(Everybody now!)
[03:03.96]'Tween a rock an' a hard place
[03:05.73]I been there plenty often
[03:07.85]'Tween a rock an' a hard place
[03:09.63]An' I ain't in a coffin!
[03:11.74]You look death right in the face
[03:14.11]The hardest place'll soften
[03:16.48]That's where I thrive, I'm still alive
[03:19.01]At the reaper I'm a-scoffin', I'm a-scoffin'!
[03:21.88]At the reaper
[03:23.82]I'm a-scoffin'!