FLOYD: Hey Homer? What's pink and green and flies all over? Homer? Homer, are you there, buddy? HOMER: What's made a' stone But's soft like a pillow? FLOYD: That's not what I asked you! What's pink and green an' flies all over? HOMER: What's made a' stone But is soft like a pillow? Where you can lay on top Or sink down in it? Where you can git underneath But it don't crush you Come on, think now You better think now, Floyd Give it some thought now It ain't hard! You know; I know you know I'm a-harkenin' back to a time ago When a day wasn't done If we didn't raise hell And the sun put us under a magic spell Huh? You're a dumb-ass, you know that? You must be the dumbest-ass... FLOYD: Shut up! I got it HOMER: Well? FLOYD: Sand! HOMER: Sorry FLOYD: But it's made a' stone and soft like a feather, you kin lay on top or sink down in it— HOMER: Yeah, but that ain't this riddle and you ain't got it yet So keep thinkin', an use yer brain this time What's made a' stone But's soft like a pillow? FLOYD: I done' tol' you already, Homer. I said 'sand', like the Great Sand Cave HOMER: An' I said, 'Sorry' What's made a' stone But is soft like a pillow? Where you kin float on top Or dive down in it? Where you kin sink underneath But it don't crush you? Come on, think now You better think now, Floyd Give it some thought, now It' ain't hard! You know; I know you know I'm a-harkenin' back to a time ago When you'd say to me "Homer, are you ready, are you set?" An' I'd say to you "Floyd, are you ready to git wet?" FLOYD: I know! What's soft jes' like a pillow Made a' rock, carved in stone? The answer to the riddle surely is the quarry! BOTH: The quarry! FLOYD: The sun beatin' down On our faces all blisterin' hot, Homer We'd run off alone To our own secret spot, Homer Under the shade 'Side our ol' fishin' hole We'd each have some worms An' an ol' fishin' pole HOMER: With school far away Like it weren't there at all, Floyd We'd hook for a day And we'd sure as hell have us a ball, Floyd Go for a swim Jes' to cool off our hide; Float on top With the sky open wide FLOYD: All right, okay— I got one fer you What's got a trunk an' a tail an' fifty limbs? HOMER: Shh, I'm concentratin' on diggin', Floyd FLOYD: You ain't concentratin', you fibber. You jes' a wee bit slow in the head, jes' like you always was... A wee bit slow What's got a trunk an' a tail an' fifty limbs? That you kin ride all day But you don't go nowhere Only front to bark, to an' fro? Come on think now You better think now, Homer Give it some thought now It ain't hard! You know; I know you know I'm a-harkenin' back to a time ago When a day didn't pass When you couldn't catch us tryin' To ride it high, till it felt like flyin' HOMER: I know! The answer to the riddle— Trunk an' a tail an' fifty limbs! The answer to the riddle Surely is our swing tree! BOTH: The swing tree! HOMER: We'd shimmy on up Like an Indian huntin' a squirrel, Floyd FLOYD: Da, da, dacky dicky da Da, da, dacky dicky dicka HOMER: Up to the crook Where we could look down on the world, Floyd FLOYD: Da, da, dacky dicky da Da, da, dacky dicky dicka HOMER: Out on a limb Where that ol' rope was hung High 'bove the water Waiting to be swung FLOYD: Da, da, dacky dicky da BOTH: Da, da, dacky dicky dicka Slide down the rope An' my legs start to pump, Homer (Floyd) HOMER: Da, da, dacky dicky da FLOYD: Da, da, dacky dicky dicka BOTH: My heart starts to pound An' my head starts to thump Homer (Floyd) FLOYD: Da, da, dacky dicky, da HOMER: Da, da, dacky dicky dicka BOTH: Higher an' higher I'm swingin' along We'd get to singin' That ol' swingin' song! Da, da, dacky dicky dicka da... FLOYD: An' when I don't weigh nothin' Light as air, I let go Spinnin' off an' flippin' over; All that water far below And I open up for my swan dive My spread eagle My Jesus-on-the-cross! For thine is the kingdom And the power And the glory Forever an' ever Through the flashing sun Ever and ever Over and over... Fallin' into that black water... An' that rock, stickin' up an' comin' at my face That cold, black grave... Cold grave... Grave... HOMER: Floyd? Floyd, come on back now... It's me, buddy, come to yer rescue. Now you jes' lie there and rest, 'cause I'm about to git you free Now here's the final riddle, Floyd. See if you kin answer me this: What's strong as a bull Smart as a fox? Quick as a hare An' stubborn as a mule Kin make like a snake hrough the tiniest hole Get hung up for days an' turn out fine? Look-ee here, now There ain't no two ways about it You don't have to worry at all We're almost there! You know; I know you know I'm a-harkenin' back to a time ago When a day didn't end, that we didn't help each other Kinda like a friend an' kinda like a brother And it don't matter none, if it's me or if it's you; There ain't no hole that we can't pull through! FLOYD: I know! HOMER: Hot damn! FLOYD: Yes sir! HOMER: Oo-ee! FLOYD: It's good to see you Homer! HOMER: We better clean you up Before they take your picture! FLOYD: You's jes' as ugly as you ever was! What took you so damn long? Takin' too much like you always are HOMER: What's black an' fast an' shiny? FLOYD: Fast enough to make a panther squall? HOMER: Who's gonna be there in it? FLOYD: Lookin' fine an' sittin' tall! HOMER: Straight to Louisville, who will tear? FLOYD: Far away from the toil an' care HOMER: With money to burn FLOYD: On a hell of a spree HOMER: The devil to pay? BOTH: It's plain to see; That's an easy one— That's us!