Have you ever seen an idealist 
With grey hairs on his head 
Or successful men who keep in touch 
With unsuccessful friends? 
You only think you do 
I could have sworn 
I saw it too 
But as it turns out, 
It was just a clever ad for cigarettes 
Cause if it isn't making dollars 
Then it isn't making sense 
If you aren't moving units 
Then you're not worth the expense 
If you really want to make it 
You had best remember this 
If it isn't penetration 
Then it isn't worth a kiss 
We're so sorry, sir, 
But you did not quite make the cut this time, and we'd appriciate it if you'd cleared your stuff on out by five 
Don't take it personal 
Everyone knows you did your best 
If it makes it easier, you should look at things from our perspective 
Cause if it isn't making dollars 
Then it isn't making sense 
If you aren't moving units 
Then you're not worth the expense 
If you really want to make it 
You had best remember this 
If it isn't penetration 
Then it isn't worth a kiss