[00:00.37]"Let's meet contestant number one
[00:02.74]He's a skitsofrantic, serial killer clown
[00:05.66]Who says, "woman love his sexy smile"
[00:09.06]Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon
[00:12.10]Sharon, what's your question?"
[00:13.54]"Contestant number one,
[00:14.84]I believe first impressions last forever
[00:16.83]So let's say you were to come over to my parent's house
[00:19.56]And have dinner with me and my family
[00:21.39]Tell me what you would do to make
[00:22.99]That first impression really stick"
[00:24.98]Let's see, uh, well, I'd have to think about it
[00:28.59]I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it
[00:32.01]I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
[00:34.74]And look your momma in the eye and tell her, "**** YOU!!!"
[00:38.10]Hurry up bitch, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti
[00:41.21]I'd pinch her loopy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready!"
[00:44.31]Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed
[00:47.43]I'd have to walk up and bust him in his ****ing lips!
[00:50.55]It's dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother
[00:53.73]I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother
[00:56.97]I'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you this
[00:59.94]You know for only 13, she got some big tits
[01:03.23]After that, your dad will try to jump again
[01:06.34]And only this time, I'd put the forty to his chin
[01:09.64]After you mom does the dishes and the silverware
[01:12.62]I'd dry-**** her till I nut in my underwear
[01:16.76]
[01:22.35]"Now, let's me contestant number two
[01:25.46]He's a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak
[01:28.88]Who works for the Dark Carnival
[01:31.01]He says women call him stretch nuts
[01:33.18]Sharon, let's hear your question"
[01:34.99]"I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions
[01:38.15]A man who expresses himself in his own special way
[01:41.63]Number two, if you fell in love with me
[01:44.50]Exactly how would you let me know?"
[01:46.43]First thing, I could never love you
[01:50.47]You sound like a richie-bitch, yo, **** YOU!!!
[01:53.76]But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care
[01:57.18]By taking all these other mother****ers outta here
[02:00.09]I'd go through your phone book and whack em all
[02:03.35]And find contestant number one and break his ****ing jaw （what?!）
[02:06.83]Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay
[02:09.50]I'd be blowing ****ing nuggets off all day
[02:12.61]I'd grab your titties and stretch em down past your waist
[02:15.66]Let em go, and watch em both spring up in your face
[02:19.03]I'd sing love songs to you, the best I can
[02:22.19]Get you naked, and hit it like a CAVEMAN!!!
[02:25.99]When we go to the beach and walk through the sand
[02:28.54]I throw a little in your face and say, I'm just playing
[02:31.72]As you spit it all out, I'd rub your back
[02:34.76]And grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!
[02:37.71]
[02:45.36]"Well it sounds like contestant number two
[02:47.23]Is just over-flowing with sensitivity, Sharon
[02:49.66]It's a touch choice so far
[02:51.58]Sharon, let's have your last question and
[02:54.51]See which one is going to win the rights to your neden"
[02:57.00]"Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the
[03:01.47]same time. Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would
[03:06.18]your pick up line be? Well, whoever's the smoothest wins!"
[03:09.42]Okay, first I'd slide up to the bar
[03:12.72]And tell you that I can't believe how ****ing fat you are
[03:15.89]I'd tell that I like the way you make your titties shake
[03:18.94]And if you lost a little weight, you'd look like Rickie Lake!
[03:22.18]**** that, you'd be jocking me quick
[03:25.28]I'd order you a drink and stir it with my dick
[03:28.57]And then to get your attention in the crowded place
[03:31.69]I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face
[03:34.92]Yeah, freak with your nuts, yo, that'll get her
[03:38.22]Tell her that's she fat, yeah, that'll work even better
[03:40.64]Look, **** you, I got a strong rap
[03:44.19]Shit, you don't want contestant number two
[03:46.75]He's mad-whack
[03:47.24]I walk into a bar and there he was
[03:50.59]Standing up by a bucket, eww, trying to **** it
[03:53.95]It was a big ****ing smelly, ass farm llama
[03:56.94]Damn dawg! how you gonna diss your momma?!