Ladies and gents, well 
I take no offence 
No, I'm not who you're here to see 
And it won't be long till the headliner's on 
And then you'll be done with me 
So don't rack your brain, no you've not heard my name 
Or a single song of mine 
And if you need to go potty, well it's out in the lobby 
But I'd go now while there's still time '
Cause I'm the opening act, don't get much time 
Maybe four tracks or five at best 
So I play only songs that 
I hope make you long 
To go out and buy the rest 
And it is okay if 
I choose to be shameless '
Cause tonight 
I'm not getting paid 
So as soon as 
I'm able I'll be out by my table 
Telling you about my 
MySpace Well, 
I wish I could say with the truth on my face 
That the reason 
I'm here tonight 
Is 'cause they like my songs and they just can't go wrong 
Without the opening 
I provide 
But the truth is 
I'm cheap, and 
I don't take much space 
Because it's just me and my guitar 
So when I get to the solo, well 
I'm up here alone 
So I'll just have to whistle that part 
Yeah, I'm the opening act, don't get much time 
Maybe four tracks or five at best 
So I play only songs that 
I hope make you long 
To go out and buy the rest 
And it is okay if 
I choose to be shameless 
Did I mention 
I'm not getting paid? 
So as soon as 
I'm able I'll be out by my table 
And if you buy a 
CD, well you're enabling me 
To put bread on my plate, take my wife on a date 
Well, I better stop now before you tune me out 
But don't forget about my 
MySpace