作曲 : John Dempsey/Dana P. Rowe Grahame: How do you like to hear, a little story kiddies. Tell me. Nothing like a well-told story, kiddies So who here'd like to hear about your dear old uncle Grahame? Born the prodigal son Should have had it made But sadly, it would not be so Cursed with childhood polio I st-st-stuttered my way through the seventh grade Watched my little brother Win the student council race Perfect smile Chisled bod Captain of the Football squad Tall, athletic Next to God Reed could do no wrong But no bad feelings! Reed could do no wrong Still... We were best of buddies, Reed and I Until those college years came by... Grahame and Reed:Two guys at Harvard Making a name One was athletic The other was lame Two guys at Harvard Forward they forge Leaning on each other Just like Ira and George! Two guys at Harvard Oh, what a pair Reed:Grahame had the smarts Grahame:Reed had fabulous hair Grahame and Reed:One had the looks And one had the plan So between the two of them You had quite a man! Oh, those Harvard days Oh, those Harvard nights We're talking fancy airs And frat-house antics French champagne And greek semantics Tailored suits And home-made beer Live it up, boys... Because it's all downhill from here! Reed:Hey, Grahame! Grahame:Yes Reed! Reed:Grahame! Tell me, how does a crippled boy change a light bulb? Grahame:I don't know, Reed. How does a crippled boy change a light bulb? Reed:He doesn't! He gets his healthy younger brother to do it for him... Grahame and Reed:...Just like everything else! Reed:Hey, Grahame! Grahame:Yes Reed! Reed:Grahame! Grahame:Reed! Reed:Hey, Grahame! Grahame:Oh Reed! Reed:Why did the stutterer cross the road? Grahame:I don't know, Reed. Why did the stutterer cross the road? Reed:To get to the other s-s-s-s-s-s-s-side! Grahame and Reed:Walla-walla-boom! Reed:How about doing a little hat and crutch number for us, Grahame! (dance) Grahame and Reed:Oh, those Harvard days Oh, those Harvard nights We're talking fancy airs And frat-house antics French champagne And greek semantics Tailored suits And home-made beer Live it up, boys... Because it's all downhill from here! Grahame:And then there were the girls! Oh, the campus was swarming with 'em! And the queen of them all was Violet! Now, originally - as hard as this is to believe - Violet was my date. Reed was set up with her best friend from the Sorority house. Violet:But I'm a firm believer in not having to play the hand you're dealt! Grahame, Reed and Violet:And we went roller skating Dancing Squiring and romancing Drinking at our neighbourhood canteen Then to the cinema We're foray Looking for amore Somewhere darkened Mezzanine And soon the woman come to love the man (If not the one they thought) Ev'rything according to plan... Her plan... Reed ruled the campus Preened like a ham Body by God And ideas by Grahame Then they met Vi'let Sexy and slim She played 'em off each other Till the brothers turned Grim (m) Two guys at Harvard Met with a dame Who wanted the cute one But dated the lame Two guys at Harvard Flirting with death Picture Cain and Abel Courtin' Lady Macbeth! Oh, those Harvard days Oh, those Harvard nights We're talking fancy airs And frat-house antics French champagne And greek semantics Tailored suits And home-made beer Live it up, boys... Because it's all downhill from here!