When Grandfather dies 
Life will be strange 
When Grandfather dies 
My whole world will change 
When Grandfather dies 
I'll scream and 
I'll yell '
Cause I'll be ****in' rich as hell 
So Grandfather, die 
Don't keep me in suspense 
Oh Grandfather, cough 
Up that inheritance 
Oh Grandfather, don't 
Hold on another day 
I love you to death 
But I've gots bills to pay 
A stroke would be nice 
Disease would be cool 
I'll scatter his ashes 
In my new swimming pool 
I'll party with heff 
I'll dine with the 
Queen So what say we unplug that machine? 
Oh Grandfather, die 
Before the fiscal year 
Oh Grandfather, 
I Wish Kevorkian were here 
Oh Grandfather, fly 
Just take your final bow 
Oh Grandfather, die 
Family hates you anyhow 
For God's sakes, you must be as old as the sun 
Your Social 
Security Number is 1 
You're deaf, dumb, and blind, and an amputee 
You donate your blood every time that you pee 
Your arthritis acts up whenever it rains 
You're so old your penis has varicose veins 
Oh, why don't you die, 
Grandpa? Why must you fight? 
You old mother****er 
Just walk toward the goddamn light 
Walk toward the light, old man 
Walk toward the light, old man 
It's all over now 
My granddad is dead 
A mysterious blow 
To his wrinkled old head 
Before I collect 
A small oversight 
But everything should work out all right 
I'll start working on my grandma tonight