作曲 : Boylan, Martin, Simon, Winding
Mr. Burns:Smithers.
Smithers:Huh?
Mr. Burns:Turn on the surveillance monitors.
Smithers:Yes, sir.
Mr. Burns:Ehh, it's worse than I thought.
Each morning at nine,
They trickle through the gate.
They go home early,
They come in late.
Reeking cheap liquor,
They stumble through the day.
Never give a thought
To honest work for honest pay.
I know it shouldn't vex me,
I shouldn't take it hard.
I should ignore their capering
With a kingly disregard.
But...
Mr. Burns and Back-up Singers:Look at all those idiots!
Mr. Burns:Eh, look at all those boobs!
Mr. Burns and Back-up Singers:An office full of morons!
Mr. Burns:A factory full of fools!
Mr. Burns and Back-up Singers:Is it any wonder...
Mr. Burns:That I'm singing...
Singing the blues!
Smithers:Yours is a heavy burden, sir.
Mr. Burns:I'm just getting started.
They make personal phone calls
On company time.
They xerox their buttocks
And guess who pays the dime?
Their blatant thievery wounds me,
Their ingratitude astounds!
I long to lure them to my home
And then release the hounds!
I shouldn't grow unsettled
When faced with such abuse.
I shouldn't let it plague me
I shouldn't blow a fuse!
But...
Mr. Burns and Back-up Singers:Look at all those idiots!
Mr. Burns:Oh, look at all those boobs!
Mr. Burns and Back-up Singers:An office full of morons!
Mr. Burns:A factory full of fools!
Mr. Burns and Back-up Singers:Is it any wonder...
Mr. Burns:I'm singing...
Singing the blues!
What happened? Where are the instruments?
Smithers:I believe they call this a "breakdown," sir.
Mr. Burns:I can't have any breakdowns here! What if there was an inspector around?
Smithers:Uh—
Mr. Burns:Play a guitar solo!
Smithers:Ha, I'm a little out of practice, sir.
Mr. Burns:I said do it! So do it, do it, DO IT!!!
Smithers:Uh, yes, sir.
Uh-huh. Ha ha ha ha.
Mr. Burns:Yes, excellent.
Smithers:Yeah.
Mr. Burns:Well done.
Smithers:Ah.
Mr. Burns:It's beginning to grate... That will be sufficient, Smithers...
Smithers:Excuse me?
I said that's enough!
Smithers:Woah. Sorry, sir. Thought I had my mojo working.
Mr. Burns:Heh, hmm...
That man by the cooler
Drinking water as if it's free!
Smithers:Oh, that's Homer Simpson, sir,
That drone from Sector 7G.
Mr. Burns:Yes, well, call this Simpson to my office
And stay to watch the fun.
If he's six feet when he enters,
He'll be two feet when I'm done.
He brings a ray of sunshine
To my unhappy life.
To make him kneel before me
And slowly twist the knife.
Mr. Burns and Back-up Singers:Look at all those idiots!
Mr. Burns:Duh, look at all those boobs!
Mr. Burns and Back-up Singers:An office full of morons!
Mr. Burns:A factory full of fools!
Mr. Burns and Back-up Singers:Is it any wonder...
Mr. Burns:I'm singing...
Singing the blues!
Smithers:Take me home, sir.
Mr. Burns:I'm trying.
Mr. Burns and Back-up Singers:Surrounded by idiots!
Mr. Burns:Outnumbered by boobs!
Mr. Burns and Back-up Singers:An office full of morons!
Mr. Burns:A planet full of fools!
Mr. Burns and Back-up Singers:Is it any wonder...
Mr. Burns:I'm singing...
Smithers:Maybe you should be singing, sir.
Mr. Burns:Oh, singing the bluuuuuuuues!
Back-up Singers:Look at all those idiots!
Smithers:Mr. Burns, you... you make Muddy Waters sound shallow and cheerful by comparison.
Back-up Singers:Office full of morons!
Mr. Burns:Thank you, Smithers! Meaningless but heartfelt compliment.
Back-up Singers:Is it any wonder
Mr. Burns:I feel like I got a few things off my chest. Now, onto the chests of my inferiors!
Smithers:You did.
Back-up Singers:Look at all those idiots!
Mr. Burns:Why are they still playing?
Smithers:Uh...
Back-up Singers:Office full of morons!
Mr. Burns:They're not on salary, are they?
Smithers:We're not validating their parking, sir.
Back-up Singers:Is it any wonder
Mr. Burns:They're paying for their own coffee now, Smithers.