作曲 : Paul Heaton & Dave Rotheray
 作词 : Heaton, Rotheray
Guard your body with the best barbed wire
And ward off foe with the fiercest of fire
But let love unguarded into the strangest of nights
Wear your dresses like they're up for hire
And leave them with your humour in the tumble dryer
And watch yourself stumble down a lane with no lights
School like life turns some men into mice
What you need now is a little piece of mouse advice
Well they say be wary of strangers
Especially if they offer you sweets
But there ain't no government health warning
On half the mad ****ers you meet
Save yourself personal tradegy
Go back to the man with the sweets
Do yourself schooling favour
Head back to the man with the sweets
Those who feared cancer never had much to say
They bored us at parties onto forty a day
They forced us into corners and onto forty a day

The dentiist's chair is the only time
That anybody ever looks at their mouth
Let the dentist give their teeth something to chatter about
School like life turns some men into mice
To avoid the rat-trap take the mouse's advice
Well they say be wary of strangers
Especially if they offer you sweets
But there ain't no government health warning
On half the mad ****ers you meet
Save yourself personal tradegy
Go back to the man with the sweets
Do yourself schooling favour
Head back to the man with the sweets