PRODUCER: Beautiful. Alright, let’s roll the tape! Five, six, seven, eight!
ROBBIE the Doorman, spoken: 'Scuse me, wait! Dammit kid! You pushed my buttons!
You literally pushed every elevator button!
ROBBIE: Awful lot of spunk
What a little punk
Hits every goddamn floor, runs out the door
I knew that that kid stunk
From one look at birth, I knew this day would come
Now he's a hoodlum!
DONNA, spoken: Going down?
ROBBIE: We are going up
DONNA, spoken: Are you certain?
ROBBIE: Yup!
Adam Klein, that prick pulled a little trick
DONNA: Ugh! When will he grow up?
ROBBIE: Kids like that don't grow up, no!
They shoot up and die!
DONNA: Man, you're an angry guy!
ROBBIE: I know
All I ever wanted was to not be a doorman
Maybe play for the Yankees, or look just like Paul Newman
DONNA: But we don't get what we want, so we must love what we get
ROBBIE: Would you like to go out socially?
JOE, spoken: Uh, down?
ALL: No, we're going up!
Some ****ing kid pushed every floor
But come and ride because it's merrier with more
Yes, we're going up
Up to the penthouse in the sky
All 'cause little Adam Klein's a shitty guy!
Yes, we're going up!
JOE, spoken: Moving?
DONNA: Moving, so to speak
Not to be oblique
But the truth is I live somewhere else, it's unique
'Til today, I was lately a home-wrecking sneak!
(spoken) It was pretty bleak
Man, spoken: Going down?
DONNA, spoken: Ha, there's the bastard now!
Man, spoken: Jesus Christ!
ANN: Have you any shame?
Man, spoken: Oh, my God!
JOE: This the guy that cheats?
DONNA: And I've the receipts
ROBBIE: And his tipping is lame!
Man: Does the whole co-op suddenly know my affairs?
ROBBIE, spoken: Care to take the stairs?
JOE, spoken: Yeah right, I hate the stairs
Ann, spoken: I mean, going down them isn't the worst, but going up!
ROBBIE, spoken: Stairs in either direction is a nightmare
DONNA, spoken: God I love elevators!
Ann, spoken: God, I love this co-op!
All: Me too!
Man: Me three!
All: Yes, we're going up!
Co-ops crudely cooperate
It's a hassle but still somehow kind of great
So we're going up (so we're going up)
In this rising purgatory
Checking in on everyone and every story
Yes, we're going up!
(And the brown and the beige
And the brown and the beige
And the brown!)
Yes, we're going up!
(And the brown and the beige
And the brown and the beige
And the brown and the beige
And the brown and the beige)
Co-op, I love you!