whilst i thought i was climbing i found myself descending having lost my way let me go up having lost my way let me go down i have no other work to do it would have been better no to be the mother it is sorrowful when a son goes away let alone and when he dies i watched quietly when the grave was being dug knowing that he won't come back and i shall not be here for much longer even if i become like a king or like the wind never never will death stay away but when he called me from above neither voice nor word to say yes we just quietly say yes to him it is a debt which must be paid here is your flesh take it from me it seems to me that you can't destroy it having spent the day with pain am i going to spend the night with pain? this living to eat is so tiring for me i am feeling cold inside let me go on seeking fire even death is better than this useless life the mast of a ship a nakedness the leader of whores sheds the female breast he tramples down the vast furnace Godlike and piercing binding and bitter and cleaving asunder bones bound together and paleness breaking and rending abiding in a place tending into nothingness dampness tending onto corruption corruption corruption corruption and merchants in trembling dragged down into horror terrible and whirling the dust in the palm sublime circumcision solitude and desolation a goatherd unto lost all destruction grinding thin powder withering and fading the reaping-hook of dullness earth thrown up all flesh turn the mountains are cast out lions trembling with fury thy braking in my barrenness the destroyer of days the silent lion we know him fury the death of flesh he moves with a creeping motion they destroy by the sky flame of their smoky breath the painbringers they shriek with a long drawn cry