[00:11.26]The piano has been drinking
[00:16.84]My necktie is asleep
[00:21.67]And the combo went back to New York
[00:27.19]The jukebox has to take a leak
[00:32.22]And the carpet needs a haircut
[00:37.15]And the spotlight looks like a prison break
[00:42.25]And the telephone's out of cigarettes
[00:47.56]And the balcony is on the make
[00:53.40]And the piano has been drinking
[00:58.30]The piano has been drinking...
[01:03.61]And the menus are all freezing
[01:08.86]And the light man's blind in one eye
[01:13.60]And he can't see out of the other
[01:18.30]And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid
[01:24.60]And he showed up with his mother
[01:29.41]And the piano has been drinking
[01:34.95]The piano has been drinking
[01:40.00]As the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler cream-puff casper milktoast
[01:50.72]And the owner is a mental midget with the I.Q. of a fence post
[02:01.23]'Cause the piano has been drinking
[02:06.79]The piano has been drinking...
[02:12.03]And you can't find your waitress with a Geiger counter
[02:22.21]And she hates you and your friends and you just can't get served without her
[02:32.74]And the box-office is drooling
[02:37.96]And the bar stools are on fire
[02:42.68]And the newspapers were fooling
[02:48.21]And the ash-trays have retired
[02:53.31]'Cause the piano has been drinking
[02:58.83]The piano has been drinking
[03:04.22]The piano has been drinking
[03:09.74]Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me