How do you do, ladies and gentlemen?
 My name is Alfred Hitchcock
 And this is Music to Be Murdered By
 It is mood music in a jugular vein
 And I hope you like it
 Our record requires only the simplest of equipment
 An ordinary phonograph needle
 A four-inch speaker
 And a 38 caliber revolver
 Naturally, the record is long-playing
 Even though you may not be
 So why don't you relax?
 Lean back and enjoy yourself
 Until the coroner comes