Well they closed down the shityard in Mahwah late last month
Ralph went out looking for a job but he couldn't find none
He came home too drunk from mixing Tanqueray and wine
Got a gun, shot a clerk, now they call him Johnny 99
Down in the part of town where you shouldn't stop
Johnny's waving his gun around, threatening to blow his top
When an off-duty cop snuck up on him from behind
Out in front of the club, they slapped the cuffs on Johnny 99
Well, they provided a lawyer, but the judge was mean John Brown
He came into the courtroom and stared poor Johnny down
Well, the evidence is clear, and the sentence fit the crime
Prison for 98 and a year, we'll call it even, Johnny 99
At the back of the courtroom, they had to drag Johnny's girl away
His mom shouted, "Judge, don't take my boy this way"
Well, son, you got a statement you'd like to make
Before the bailiff comes to forever take you away?
Well, judge, I got debts no honest man can pay
I couldn't meet my mortgage, they was taking my house away
Now, I ain't saying that makes me an innocent man
But it was more than this that put that gun in my hand
Well, Your Honor, I do believe I'd be better off dead
And if you can take a man's life for the thoughts that's in his head
Then think it over, judge, one more time
And let 'em shave off my hair and put me on that execution line
Oh yeah, Brucie