ChristmasIn the silly
Middle East
No trees, no snow, no
Santa Claus
They have different religious beliefs
They believe in
MuhammadAnd not in our holiday
And so every
DecemberI go to the
Middle East and say
Hey there,
Mr. Muslim
Merry fuckin'
ChristmasPut down that book, '
The Koran'
And hear some holiday wishes
In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus'
BirthdaySo get off your heathen
Muslim Ass
And fuckin' celebrate
There is no holiday season
In India,
I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings
And that is just absurd
They've never read a
Christmas story
They don't know what
Rudolph is about
And that's why in
DecemberI'll go to
India and shout
Hey there,
Mr. Hinduist
Merry fuckin'
ChristmasDrink egg nog, and eat some beef
And pass it to the
MissusIn case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's
BirthdaySo get off your heathen
Hindu assAnd fuckin' celebrate
Now I heard that in
JapanEveryone just lives in sin
They pray to several
GodsAnd put needles in their skin
On December twenty-fifth
All they do is eat a cake
And that is why
I'll go to
JapanAnd walk around and say
Hey there,
Mr. Shintoist
Merry fuckin'
ChristmasGod is gonna kick your ass
You infidelic pagan scum
In case you haven't noticed
There's festive things to do
So let's all rejoice for
JesusAnd Merry fuckin'
Christmas to you
On Christmas
Day, I travel 'round the world and say
Taoists, Krishna's,
Buddhists and all you atheists too
Merry fuckin'
Christmas to you
Thank you,
Mr. Hat