[00:03.924]The whole point of me recording right now,
[00:08.966]is to hold myself accountable
[00:10.825]for the feelings I still feel
[00:14.813]I thought it was over, thought I was moving forward
[00:19.862]But I guess that’s why I have this
[00:21.984]to show me what’s real
[00:25.970]The perils of keeping your ex-wife’s phone in your possession
[00:31.557]You’re only really saying you’ve put the past to rest
[00:36.868]It is all too easy to feed your old obsession
[00:42.182]You want to prove you’ve moved on?
[00:43.778]Let’s put it to the test
[00:45.897]So I turned on my speakers,
[00:49.357]plugged 'em into the jack
[00:53.082]But I wasn’t prepared
[00:56.264]for how it’d feel to listen back
[00:59.451]It was a painful little listen back
[01:03.436]I had a little listen back
[01:06.647]My first and last listen back
[01:11.160]And I heard you cry
[01:15.146]And I heard three minutes of unfiltered honesty
[01:20.461]I realized I still love you
[01:36.178]Tonight I heard three distant voices
[01:41.699]A trio of myself saying goodbye
[01:47.323]I turned over in bed, torn apart by past choices
[01:52.888]Time to check the record, the record wouldn’t lie
[01:56.112]So I slipped out of bed,
[01:59.834]made myself a small snack
[02:03.571]And I put on my headphones,
[02:06.490]and had another listen back
[02:09.667]It was a painful little listen back
[02:13.926]I had a little listen back
[02:17.105]That was my last listen back
[02:21.893]And I heard us fight
[02:25.619]But I was a coward, and I ran away again
[02:30.716]That wasn’t right
[02:33.099]And I can’t afford to be a coward anymore
[02:50.429]Another part of adulting is admitting when you’re wrong
[02:55.749]And doing the hard thing you need to do for yourself
[03:01.066]For eight years I tried to tell myself “stay strong”
[03:06.117]As the guilt of what I’d done destroyed my mental health
[03:12.229]We all know what I’m holding
[03:14.606]And what I just completed
[03:17.812]Though hearing my own voice has never felt this strange
[03:23.109]You were right to leave the record, you were right to
[03:25.495]give me distance
[03:28.986]Something deep inside of me is ready now to change
[03:32.181]This time when i listened
[03:35.645]I only made it through half
[03:39.382]Because with 16 answers of mine missing
[03:42.306]I can’t just listen back
[03:46.547]It’s not enough to listen back
[03:49.736]I can’t just listen back
[03:54.516]I have to do more than listen back
[04:01.224]It’s not enough to listen back
[04:04.970]I can’t just listen back
[04:09.220]I have to do more than listen back