作词 : Jason Williamson
 作曲 : Andrew Fearn
Mine's a bitter if you want mate
Mine's a bitter everyday
I ain't a showboat... but you are
An' I'll die spittin' greenies in your face

I heard the rule was, 'Move to London'
I heard the monkeys get the train
I ain't a showboat... but you are
An' I'll die laughin' my tits off in your face

Showboat in the magazine
Showboat in a trendy fanzine
Showboat says I ain't got a lot
Shut y'mouth mate, an' **** off!

Cheap Keith Richards in your bellbottoms
An' loads of models smokin' fags
I ain't a showboat... but you are
An' I'll die with these eyes over these bags

I heard the rule was, 'Move to London'
I heard the monkeys get the train
I ain't a showboat... but you are
An' I'll die laughin' my tits off in your face

Showboat in the magazine
Showboat in a trendy fanzine
Showboat says I ain't got a lot
Shut y'mouth mate, an' **** off!

Showboat in the magazine
Showboat in a trendy fanzine
Showboat says I ain't got a lot
Shut y'mouth mate, an' **** off!