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[00:11.70]Sid Vicious played a four-string fender bass guitar
[00:15.34]and couldn't sing
[00:17.23]and everybody hated him except the ones who loved him
[00:22.60]a ukulele has four strings, but sid did did not play ukulele
[00:28.47]he did smack and probably killed his girlfriend nancy spungen
[00:33.66]If only sid had had a ukulele, maybe he could have been happy
[00:39.78]maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end
[00:44.32]he maybe would have not done all that heroin instead
[00:48.99]he maybe would've sat around just singing nice songs
[00:53.18]to his girlfriend
[00:54.74]So play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
[01:00.04]‘cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing
[01:05.15]do your homework with a fork
[01:07.83]and eat your fruit loops in the dark
[01:10.45]and bring your etch-a-sketch to work
[01:13.12]and play your ukulele
[01:16.85]Ukulele small and forceful
[01:18.79]brave and peaceful
[01:21.35]you can play the ukulele too it is painfully simple
[01:26.85]play your ukulele badly, play your ukulele loudly
[01:32.30]ukulele banish evil
[01:34.87]ukulele save the people
[01:37.64]ukulele gleaming golden on the top of every steeple
[01:43.74]Lizzie borden took an axe, and gave her father thirty whacks
[01:48.69]then gave her mother thirty-one, and left a tragic puzzle
[01:53.58]if only they had given her an instrument, those puritans
[01:58.99]had lost the plot completely
[02:01.16]see what happens when you muzzle
[02:04.13]a person's creativity
[02:06.66]and do not let them sing and scream
[02:09.48]and nowadays it's worse ‘cause kids have automatic handguns
[02:15.07]it takes about an hour to learn how to play the ukulele
[02:20.06]about same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb
[02:26.42]you do the math
[02:28.33]So play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
[02:33.87]‘cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing
[02:39.32]do your homework with a fork
[02:41.69]and eat your fruit loops in the dark
[02:44.07]and bring your flask of jack to work
[02:47.14]and play your ukulele
[02:50.07]Ukulele, thing of wonder
[02:52.39]ukulele, wand of thunder
[02:55.13]you can play the ukulele, too
[02:58.41]in london and down under
[03:00.99]play joan jett, and play jacques brel
[03:03.22]and eminem and neutral milk hotel
[03:06.08]the children crush the hatred
[03:08.36]play your ukulele naked
[03:11.05]and if anybody tries to steal your ukulele, let them take it
[03:16.66]Imagine there's no music, imagine there are no songs
[03:21.14]imagine that john lennon wasn't shot in front of his apartment
[03:26.59]imagine if john lennon had composed \"imagine\" on the ukulele
[03:32.61]maybe people would have more clearly got the message
[03:37.20]You may think my approach is simple-minded and naive
[03:41.57]like if you want to save the world then why not quit and feed the hungry
[03:47.30]but people for millennia have needed music to survive
[03:52.21]and that's why i've promised john that i will not feel guilty
[03:57.35]So play your favorite Beatles' song
[04:00.16]and make the subway fall in love
[04:02.97]they're only $19.95, that's not a lot of money
[04:08.20]play until the sun comes up
[04:10.60]and play until your fingers suffer
[04:13.42]play LCD soundsystem songs on your ukulele
[04:18.58]quit the bitching on your blog
[04:20.93]and stop pretending art is hard
[04:23.79]just limit yourself to three chords
[04:26.45]and do not practice daily
[04:28.95]you'll minimize some stranger's sadness
[04:31.66]with a piece of wood and plastic
[04:34.19]holy fuck it's so fantastic, playing ukulele
[04:39.41]eat your homework with a fork
[04:41.67]and do your fruit loops in the dark
[04:44.22]bring your etch-a-sketch to work
[04:46.84]your flask of jack
[04:48.60]your vibrator
[04:49.76]your fear of heights
[04:51.11]your nikon lens
[04:52.36]your mom and dad
[04:53.77]your disco stick
[04:55.02]your soundtrack from \"karate kid\"
[04:57.59]your ginsu knives
[04:58.79]your rosary
[05:00.15]your new rebecca black CD
[05:02.57]your favorite room
[05:03.82]your bowie knife
[05:05.21]your stuffed giraffe
[05:06.47]your new glass eye
[05:07.93]your sousaphone
[05:09.23]your breakfast tea
[05:10.50]your nick drake tapes
[05:12.05]your giving tree
[05:13.31]your ice cream truck
[05:14.47]your missing wife
[05:15.82]your will to live
[05:17.18]your urge to cry
[05:18.79]remember we're all going to die
[05:24.08]so play your ukulele