[00:08.99]Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
[00:13.70]About me, about you
[00:16.91]About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
[00:21.47]About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
[00:25.17]Maybe below the cockles
[00:26.59]Maybe in the sub cockle area
[00:28.77]Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys
[00:31.90]Maybe even in the colon, we don't know
[00:37.79]I'm just a regular Joe, with a regular job
[00:42.86]I'm your average white, suburbanite slob
[00:46.75]I like football and porno and books about war
[00:50.92]I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
[00:55.12]My wife and my job, my kids and my car
[00:59.27]My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar
[01:06.94]But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
[01:11.86](Oh no, no way, uh uh)
[01:14.69]No I gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense
[01:20.11](Whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
[01:23.45]I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
[01:27.46]While people behind me are going insane
[01:31.55]I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
[01:35.77]I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, such an asshole)
[01:40.06]I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
[01:44.12]I walk around in the summer time saying "how about this heat?"
[01:48.12]I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
[01:52.32]I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)
[01:56.78]Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
[02:00.58]While handicapped people make handicapped faces
[02:04.64]I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
[02:08.79]I'm an asshole (he's a real fucking asshole)
[02:13.24]Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
[02:17.97]Ranting and raving and carrying on
[02:22.07]Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
[02:29.26]Nah!
[02:29.97]I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
[02:34.08]I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)
[02:38.69]You know what I'm gonna do?
[02:39.80]I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
[02:43.65]Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
[02:46.54]And all leather cow interior
[02:48.72]And big brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah)
[02:51.52]And I'm gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
[02:54.96]Gettin' 1 mile per gallon
[02:56.33]Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald's
[02:58.55]In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
[03:01.24]And when I'm done sucking down those greaseball burgers
[03:03.42]I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
[03:05.71]And then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
[03:08.09]And there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
[03:10.78]You know why, because we've got the bomb, that's why
[03:13.41]Two words, nuclear fucking weapons, OK?
[03:16.39]Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
[03:19.79]They can have a big democracy cakewalk
[03:21.58]Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square
[03:23.09]And it won't make a lick of difference
[03:24.26]Because we've got the bombs, OK?
[03:26.54]John Wayne's not dead, he's frozen
[03:28.61]And as soon as we find a cure for cancer
[03:30.56]We're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off
[03:32.78]You know why
[03:33.59]Have you ever taken a cold shower?
[03:35.02]Well multiply that by 15 million times
[03:36.98]That's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be!
[03:38.56]I'm gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes
[03:40.63]And Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey
[03:43.31]And drive down to Texas and
[03:44.89](Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
[03:46.36]Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
[03:48.68]I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
[03:52.73]I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)
[03:57.25]A-S-S-H-O-L-E
[04:00.54]Everybody
[04:01.19]A-S-S-H-O-L-E
[04:05.39]（Hooch*11）
[04:17.23]I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it