[00:00.00]A song upon the subject
[00:01.642]Of having night death
[00:10.040]He doesn't have a problem with drugs
[00:12.170]He just doesn't do them
[00:16.080]He's fine that his mates have tattoos
[00:18.030]But he reckons they'll rue them
[00:22.130]He likes going to pubs
[00:23.430]But he hates it when the music's too loud
[00:26.310]He tends not to go to rock concerts
[00:28.290]Cos he can't stand the crowds
[00:32.080]But all he's ever wanted to be
[00:34.950]Is a rock star on Rage or MTV
[00:37.850]But he knows that it's not very likely
[00:41.060]He's just turned thirty
[00:43.300]He knows that he will always be
[00:49.430]A rock 'n' roll nerd
[00:51.820]He'll keep writing songs the world will never hear
[00:55.810]And though they won't be heard
[00:57.680]He'll just keep writing
[01:02.250]But you see the problem is
[01:04.340]He always dreamt of being a star
[01:07.239]But he learnt piano instead of guitar
[01:10.829]Which in the nineties, didn't get you very far
[01:14.870]So while the other kids were learning Stairway
[01:17.670]He was the piano to their forte
[01:20.930]But he was convinced one day he'd rock their ****ing asses
[01:26.470]And be an icon for the disenfranchised masses
[01:31.980]And grow his hair long and rebel against the state
[01:35.870]But just for now that he’d have to wait
[01:38.379]Cos he's running late for his morning classes
[01:41.879]And he will always be
[01:44.569]A rock 'n' roll nerd
[01:47.319]He'll keep playing gigs that no one knows about
[01:51.340]And though it sounds absurd
[01:53.200]He'll just keep playing
[01:57.760]But you see the problem is
[02:00.269]There's not much depth in what he's singing
[02:02.609]He's a victim of his upper-middle class upbringing
[02:06.870]So he can't write about the 'hood
[02:09.060]Or bling bling
[02:12.349]So he sits and imagines his girlfriend is dead
[02:15.430]To try and invoke some angst in his middle class head
[02:19.319]But she's always fine
[02:20.699]At half past nine
[02:21.919]When they go to bed
[02:23.449]And he's not spent a single night in prison
[02:26.250]He has no issues with nutrition
[02:29.620]He has no drinking problem and no drug addiction
[02:35.349]Unless you count the drugs they put in chicken
[02:40.629]And ********* always tends to make him cough
[02:44.340]He doesn't look good with his t-shirt off
[02:46.460]And when he tries to act tough
[02:48.389]You can tell he's trickin'
[02:52.729]While his mates all go out late
[02:54.800]Poppin' pills and having fun
[02:56.860]He goes home and showers
[02:58.389]Gets a good eight hours
[02:59.870]He gets his thrills from his morning run
[03:02.080]And while his mates all go on dates
[03:04.300]Taking speed and drinking cans of Jim Beam
[03:06.620]He stays home and cooks
[03:07.919]Curls up with a book
[03:09.129]With a girl he's had since he was seventeen
[03:12.650]Cos he's never been part of the scene
[03:15.060]While the other kids liked Guns, he liked Queen
[03:17.319]He's more into Beatles than the Stones
[03:19.550]He's more Stevie Wonder than Ramones
[03:21.990]And he's never owned a panel van
[03:24.110]He's never shot a Sepultura fan
[03:26.159]He doesn't know the difference between metal and thrash
[03:28.289]He couldn't tell you nothing about Axl and Slash
[03:30.900]He likes Ben Folds and the Jackson Five
[03:33.419]He knows all the words to “Staying Alive”
[03:35.569]And though he wants to be all grungy and cool
[03:37.470]He spent eleven years in a
[03:38.810]Private school
[03:40.479]So it don't matter how he tries
[03:42.330]He cannot hide behind his rock 'n' roll lies
[03:44.610]Because you've either got it or you don't
[03:46.419]Yeah you'll either rock it or you won't
[03:48.720]Yeah you've either got it or you don't
[03:52.479]Yeah you'll either rock it or you won't
[03:58.039]He knows that his music lacks depth
[04:00.710]But it just can't be helped
[04:04.669]He has nothing interesting to say
[04:07.199]So he writes about himself
[04:11.900]But he doesn't want to see self-obsessed
[04:14.110]So he writes in third person
[04:20.160]In an attempt to seem more rock 'n' roll but he knows it's not working
[04:25.939]Deep in his heart he knows
[04:29.139]He will never be Jet or Eskimo Joe
[04:32.800]And even if he was quite pretty
[04:35.480]And wrote songs like missy
[04:37.829]He knows that he will always be
[04:44.879]A rock 'n' roll nerd
[04:47.819]He'll keep writing songs the world don't care about
[04:51.300]And though they sound absurd
[04:53.220]He'll just keep writing
[04:58.410]You can criticize him
[05:00.870]But he won't care
[05:03.399]Cos he wants to rock
[05:05.250]And he will never be deterred
[05:09.329]But he'll always be a ******-up, little, try-hard, wannabe rock 'n' roll nerd
[05:15.399](Stairway to Heaven Intro)
[05:20.560]Rock 'n' roll nerd