[00:00.00]Somewhere on a show I heard
[00:09.56]That a picture tells a thousand words,
[00:15.69]So telly, if you bothered to take a look,
[00:19.38]Is the equivalent, of like, lots of books!
[00:26.98]All I know I learned from telly,
[00:29.28]This big beautiful box of facts.
[00:31.76]If you know a thing already,
[00:34.22]Baby, you can switch the channel over just like that.
[00:36.78]Endless joy and endless laughter...
[00:39.34]Folks living happily ever after...
[00:41.82]All you need to make you wise
[00:44.22]Is 23 minutes plus advertisements.
[00:47.02]Why would we waste our energy?
[00:49.50]Turning the pages 1, 2, 3,
[00:51.87]When we can sit comfortably
[00:53.49]On our lovely bumferlies,
[00:54.80]Watching people singing and talking and doing stuff?!
[00:57.26]All I know I learned from telly.
[00:59.40]The bigger the telly, the smarter the man!
[01:02.04]
[01:04.62]Just what a clever fella I am!
[01:07.31]Take it away, son.
[01:09.22]
[01:23.59]You can’t learn that from a stupid book.
[01:27.48]All I know I learned from telly -
[01:29.93]What to think and what to buy.
[01:32.34]I was pretty smart already,
[01:34.98]But now I’m really, really smart - very very smart.
[01:37.69]Endless content, endless channels...
[01:40.31]Endless chat on endless panels...
[01:43.23]All you need to fill your muffin,
[01:45.61]Without having to really think or nothing!
[01:47.93]Why would we waste our energy,
[01:50.39]Trying to work out Ulysses,
[01:52.82]When we can sit happily
[01:54.41]On our lovely bapperlies
[01:55.69]Watching slightly famous people,
[01:56.84]Talking to really famous people?
[01:58.33]All I know I learned from telly.
[02:00.55]The bigger the telly, the smarter the man!
[02:03.14]You can tell from my big telly,
[02:05.70]Just what a clever fella I am!
[02:09.51]Who the dickens is Charles Dickens?
[02:12.17]Mary Shelly? Gosh, she sounds smelly.
[02:14.84]Harry Potter? What a rotter...
[02:17.61]Jane Austen in the compost bin...
[02:20.40]James Joyce doesn’t sound nice.
[02:22.81]Ian McEwen? Ugh, I feel like spewin'.
[02:25.42]William Shakespeare? Swilliam Shmakespeare...
[02:28.34]Moby Dick – easy Grandma!
[02:34.12]All together now!
[02:35.97]All I know I learned from telly.
[02:40.44]The bigger the telly, the smarter the man!
[02:45.38]You can tell from my big telly,
[02:51.28]Just what a very clever fella I am!
[03:00.08]All right!
[03:07.11]