[00:02.97]There was a bounty hunter in the depths of space
[00:05.67]And she could easily combine your stupid ass with your face
[00:08.81]Her name was Samus Aran, and she would destroy Metroids
[00:11.99]When she wasn't totally pissed, she was extremely annoyed
[00:15.31]She stood up to every challenge, no matter however demanding
[00:18.63]And her courage was amazing, and her boobies were outstanding
[00:21.92]What?!
[00:22.18]Uh, nothing! I was just saying that you're brave
[00:24.92]Uh... okay... hey, look over there! It's Kraid!
[00:28.47]I'm the strongest dragon that you've ever seen
[00:31.37]You're gonna die, motherfucker, I take up five screens
[00:34.58]I'm gonna swallow you whole, and then you'll go down easy!
[00:37.89]Then you'll be digested and converted to feces!
[00:41.19]I'll take off your helmet, see the fear in your eyes
[00:44.26]And your beautiful hair, and your well-toned thighs
[00:47.43]And your pillowy lips and... wait, you're not a guy?
[00:50.71]Is that a problem, you fuck?!
[00:51.99]Uh... no! Prepare to die!
[00:54.03]Kraid was hesitating, but Samus was set to fight
[00:56.93]She got into a battle stance that made her butt look super-tight
[01:00.10]And Kraid said:
[01:00.75]No wait, I think there has been a gigantic mistake
[01:03.36]I actually just wanted to give you some desserts that I baked
[01:06.84]But Samus said:
[01:07.63]What pisses me off most in this world
[01:09.78]Is when enemies get nice when they all find out I'm a girl
[01:13.05]So do me a favor, and take your cakes and your pies
[01:16.11]And shove them so far up your ass that they end up behind your eyes!
[01:19.72]Stop treating me like I'm a sex object!
[01:22.75]Mother Brain's a woman, but she gets respect!
[01:25.50]Yeah, Kraid, you never talk to me that way!
[01:29.04]Oh, gosh, I wonder if it's because you're a huge, disgusting brain!
[01:32.21]Get the fuck off my planet, this is your last chance!
[01:35.31]I'm gonna go ahead and slide out of my pants
[01:38.48]That's it, you're all fucking dead!
[01:40.13]What? This room feels stuffy
[01:41.81]By the way, do you like puppies?
[01:43.64]Here's a basket of puppies!
[01:48.99]Whoops. Killed the puppies.