[00:01.480]I can't believe you'd actually say that.
[00:04.550]I'd much rather be Mr. Peanut than Mr. Salty.
[00:08.190]No way. Mr. Salty is a sailor.
[00:11.020]He's gotta be the toughest snack there is.
[00:15.360]I don't know. You don't wanna mess with Cornnuts.
[00:19.330]They're crazy.
[00:23.100]Oh,my God. You gotta come see this.
[00:25.740]There's some creep out there with a telescope.
[00:30.610]I can't believe it. He's looking right at us.
[00:33.510]Oh,that is so sick.
[00:35.610]I feel violated.
[00:37.520]And not in a good way.
[00:39.450]How can people do that?
[00:43.790]You guys,look. Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots.
[00:49.130]The One With the Evil Orthodontist
[01:38.210]Years from now, school children will study it...
[01:41.410]...as one of the greatest first dates ever.
[01:45.120]-Yeah. -I'll say,yeah. -
[01:47.750]It was unbelievable.
[01:49.120]We could be ourselves. We didn't have to play games.
[01:52.420]-Have you called her? -She'd know I like her. That's crazy. -
[01:56.630]Guys. It's gross.
[02:05.870]I can't believe my parents are pushing me to find one of you people.
[02:10.840]Come on. Just do it.
[02:13.410]Call her. Stop being so testosterone-y.
[02:18.420]Which,by the way, is the real San Francisco treat.
[02:26.630]-Her machine. -Answering machine? -
[02:28.890]No,interestingly, her leaf blower picked up.
[02:34.730]So,why didn't you say anything?
[02:37.240]No. Last time I left a spontaneous message...
[02:40.470]... I ended up using the phrase, "Yes,indeed-io."
[02:45.310]Look,it's Rachel and Barry. Don't everybody look.
[02:50.820]-They're just talking. -Does he look upset? -
[02:54.120]Does he look like he was told to shove anything?
[02:59.290]No. Actually,he's smiling.
[03:01.430]Oh,my God. Don't do that.
[03:03.800]What? What? What?
[03:04.930]That man across the street just kicked that pigeon.
[03:10.800]And basically,that's how a bill becomes a law.
[03:17.580]See? Hey,Rach.
[03:21.180]How'd it go?
[03:22.920]You know,it was actually really great.
[03:26.890]Lunch at the Russian Tea Room.
[03:28.750]I had that chicken,where you poke it and butter squirts out.
[03:32.890]Not a good day for birds.
[03:34.860]Then we went to Bendel's.
[03:36.860]And I told him not to,but he got me a bottle of Chanel.
[03:41.370]That's nice. Now was that before or after you told him...
[03:45.340]...to stop calling,stop sending flowers and to leave you alone?
[03:50.210]Right. Well,we never actually got to that.
[03:54.350]It was just so nice to see him again.
[03:57.480]It was comfortable and it was familiar.
[04:01.490]It was just nice.
[04:03.160]That's nice twice.
[04:06.330]Isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?
[04:10.800]Where have you been?
[04:14.200]It was different with him today.
[04:16.370]He wasn't,like,Orthodontist Guy.
[04:19.370]I mean,we had fun. Is there anything wrong with that?
[04:26.310]-Why? -I have my reasons. -
[04:31.650]He's engaged to another woman...
[04:34.350]...who happens to be your ex-best friend?
[04:37.720]All right. I know it's stupid.
[04:40.230]I'll see him this afternoon and put an end to it.
[04:50.700]I'm not crazy,right? I mean,it was never like that.
[04:54.670]No,it wasn't.
[05:00.250]It was so nice having this little sink here.
[05:07.890]Then with authority,hang up.
[05:14.330]Will you just leave her the message?
[05:22.200]"Oh,Danielle, I wasn't expecting the machine.
[05:27.340]Give me a call when you get a chance.
[05:32.680]Bye-bye.
[05:34.750]Oh,God.
[05:42.020]Hey,I've been honing.
[05:44.720]-What was with the dishes? -She might think I'm in a restaurant. -
[05:49.330]I might have a life. Like I haven't been sitting here...
[05:53.670]... honing for the last two hours?
[05:56.170]-The telescope guy's doing it again. -Oh,my God. -
[06:02.140]Go away. Stop looking in here.
[06:06.180]Great. Now he's waving back.
[06:11.950]I caught him looking into our place. I feel like I can't do stuff.
[06:17.920]What kind of stuff?
[06:21.890]Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff...
[06:25.400]...but,like, when I'm cooking naked.
[06:29.900]You cook naked?
[06:31.370]Yeah,toast,oatmeal. Nothing that spatters.
[06:38.040]What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.
[06:43.120]What's the matter?
[06:45.250]I just Oh,Barry,this was not good.
[06:48.100]No,it was. It was very,very good.
[06:51.720]-What about Mindy? -Way better than Mindy. -
[07:00.530]If you want,I'll break it off with her.
[07:07.810]Dr. Farber,Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment.
[07:11.540]Thanks,Bernice.
[07:13.850]Let's go away this weekend.
[07:16.650]-This is all way too -No,we can go to Aruba. -
[07:20.750]When I went there on what would've been our honeymoon...
[07:24.390]...it was really nice. You would've liked it.
[07:29.460]I had a bra.
[07:42.880]Hey,Dr. Farber.
[07:44.040]All right,Miss Greene, everything looks fine.
[07:48.150]We're starting to see some real progress.
[07:54.720]-What? -I'm 1 2,I'm not stupid. -
[08:08.100]Can I use your phone?
[08:10.400]For future reference, that thing in your hand...
[08:13.240]...can also be used as a phone. …
[08:22.680]-Why isn't she calling? -Maybe she never got your message. -
[08:26.650]Call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps...
[08:30.290]...that means she didn't get her messages yet.
[08:33.290]-Doesn't that make me seem? -Desperate? Needy? Pathetic? -
[08:38.000]You obviously saw my personal ad.
[08:43.600]How many beeps?
[08:44.640]She answered.
[08:47.970]This is where you'd use that "hello" word.
[08:52.180]I won't talk to her. She got my message...
[08:54.950]...and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed.
[08:59.820]God,I miss just being needy.
[09:04.760]So how'd he take it?
[09:06.590]Pretty well,actually.
[09:11.900]How come you have dental floss in your hair?
[09:16.300]Oh,do l?
[09:20.470]-We ended up having sex in his chair. -You had sex in his chair? -
[09:29.980]I said that a little too loudly,didn't l?
[09:33.990]You had what?
[09:36.890]Sex in his chair.
[09:41.360]What...? What were you thinking?
[09:44.530]I don't know. We still care about each other.
[09:47.870]There's a history there. It's like you and Carol.
[09:53.710]It's nothing like me and Carol.
[09:56.010]If she said to you, "Ross,I want you on this couch...
[10:00.310]... right here,right now," what would you say?
[10:04.850]If it helps,I could slide over.
[10:09.390]It's a totally different situation. It's apples and oranges.
[10:14.360]It's orthodontists and lesbians I gotta go.
[10:18.500]-Where are you going? -I just have to go. -
[10:21.170]I have things to do with my life.
[10:24.570]I have a jam-packed schedule.
[10:44.620]Mindy.
[10:47.530]How are you?
[10:49.630]Yes,I heard. Congratulations. That is so great.
[10:53.870]Really,oh,God
[10:58.370]I'm working tomorrow,but if you want,you can come by if you'd like.
[11:05.180]Great.
[11:06.880]Great.
[11:10.180]So I'll see you tomorrow.
[11:12.850]Okay. Bye. ok,
[11:16.490]Oh,God. Oh,God.
[11:20.760]So how's Mindy?
[11:24.000]She wants to see me tomorrow. She sounded weird. I gotta call Barry.
[11:32.840]It's me. I just Mindy.
[11:37.010]Mindy. No,I figured that's where you'd be.
[11:57.630]Hell is filled with people like you.
[12:03.500]He's back. The peeper's back.
[12:06.440]-Get down. -Get down?
[12:08.670]And boogie.
[12:11.840]I gotta go and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
[12:15.650]She may not even know.
[12:17.520]I haven't heard from her in seven months,what else is it about?
[12:23.260]She was my best friend.
[12:25.560]We went to camp together, she taught me how to kiss....
[12:32.260]Now,you know, I'm,like,the other woman.
[12:35.400]-I feel so -Naughty. -
[12:40.340]-See you later. -I'll walk with you. -
[12:43.140]When she taught you to kiss,were you wearing any kind of little uniform?
[12:50.620]That's fine,yeah.
[12:53.550]I'm going to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?
[12:57.020]-Take it with you. -We haven't had a second date... -
[13:00.160]-...she needs to hear me pee? -Why don't you call her? -
[13:03.860]I can't. I left a message. I have some pride.
[13:07.300]-Do you? -No.
[13:15.640]Danielle,hi.
[13:17.340]It's Chandler.
[13:19.580]I'm fine.
[13:22.650]Listen....
[13:23.680]I don't know if you tried to call me because...
[13:27.620]... I accidentally shut off my phone.
[13:33.330]That's fine. That's great. Okay.
[13:37.200]She's on the other line. She's gonna call me back.
[13:41.000]She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back.
[13:45.170]-Don't you have to pee? -That's why I'm dancing. -
[13:52.780]-Mindy. -Hey,you.
[13:55.610]Hey,you.
[14:01.120]So what's up?
[14:03.890]We should really be sitting for this.
[14:07.560]Sure we should.
[14:19.140]I'm gonna ask once, and I want a straight answer.
[14:22.610]Not like when I asked if those red pants made my ass look big.
[14:28.010]I know things have been weird...
[14:30.150]...but you're my oldest friend, except for Laurie...
[14:33.350]...who's bitter because she lost weight...
[14:36.190]...and it turns out, she doesn't have a pretty face.
[14:39.290]-Okay,I'm just gonna say it. -Okay. -
[14:44.330]Will you be my maid of honor?
[14:50.200]-Of course. -That's so great.
[14:53.040]It is. It is. It is.
[14:55.540]-That's all you wanted to ask? -That's all. -
[15:01.980]-What? -That's not all.
[15:06.480]-Oh,sure it is. -Oh,no,it isn't. -
[15:11.190]I think Barry's seeing someone in the city.
[15:15.130]What would make you think that?
[15:17.460]Since the engagement, he's acted weird.
[15:20.630]And then last night,he came home smelling like Chanel.
[15:26.540]Really?
[15:29.470]If it'll make you feel any better...
[15:32.210]...when Barry and I got engaged, he was weird too.
[15:35.810]Oh,God. That's what I was afraid of.
[15:38.320]What's what you were afraid of?
[15:42.450]When Barry was engaged to you, he and l...
[15:47.390]... kind of had a little thing on the side. …
[15:52.100]-What? -I know,I know.
[15:54.500]When he proposed,people said,"He'll do to you what he did to Rachel."
[15:59.770]And now I feel so stupid.
[16:06.480]You are so stupid.
[16:10.480]We are both so stupid.
[16:12.720]What do you mean?
[16:16.550]Smell familiar?
[16:21.260]Oh,I'm so sorry.
[16:23.260]Oh,no,me. I am so sorry.
[16:25.830]No,I am sorry. I'm sorry.
[16:42.010]Oh,my.
[16:45.820]Four letters,"circle or hoop."
[16:48.550]-Ring,damn it,ring. -Thanks.
[16:54.530]-You know our phone's not working? -What?
[16:58.800]I called and there was no answer.
[17:02.100]I turned it off.
[17:03.900]Mother of God,I turned it off.
[17:06.740]Just like you told her you did.
[17:10.180]Just pointing out the irony.
[17:12.840]I went across the street to the doorman.
[17:16.280]I got the peeper's name. Can I use the phone?
[17:21.290]Can I use your phone?
[17:26.660]The number for a Sidney Marks,please.
[17:29.690]"Heating device."
[17:32.400]Radiator.
[17:33.930]Five letters.
[17:35.530]"Rdtor." “Rdtor.”
[17:41.810]Yeah,is Sidney there?
[17:44.740]Oh,this is? Sidney's a woman.
[17:47.750]So she's a woman,so what?
[17:52.180]I live across the street,and I know about your telescope.
[17:56.650]And I don't appreciate it.
[17:58.660]Yeah,I can see you right now. Hello?
[18:01.830]If I wanna walk around in my underwear,I shouldn't have to feel
[18:06.930]Thank you.
[18:10.600]That's not really the point. The point is,that
[18:14.470]Mostly free-weights, but occasionally
[18:19.510]Yeah,my neighbor. Yeah,the brunette.
[18:23.620]She said you looked pretty that day in the green dress.
[18:27.550]The green dress? Really?
[18:30.260]She said you looked like lngrid Bergman.
[18:38.700]Did she mention me?
[18:42.700]She wants to know why you tie the towel around your head.
[18:51.140]It's a leave-in conditioner.
[18:58.320]-You got a second? -Sure,sure.
[19:00.390]Come on...
[19:02.100]-...in. -Hello,sweetheart. hello,
[19:05.620]What you guys doing here?
[19:07.630]We are here to break up with you.
[19:11.630]Both of you?
[19:13.230]We think you're a horrible person, and bad things should happen to you.
[19:19.940]I'm sorry. God,I am so sorry.
[19:22.310]I was weak. I couldn't help myself.
[19:24.940]Whatever I did,I only did because I love you so much.
[19:30.450]Which one of us are you talking to there?
[19:35.790]Mindy.
[19:37.190]Of course,Mindy. It was always Mindy.
[19:42.860]I swear,whatever I was doing, I was thinking of you.
[19:46.460]Please. That second time,you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup.
[19:52.140]You did it twice?
[19:59.040]Honey,sweetheart,look. Just give me another chance.
[20:02.980]We'll start over. We'll go back to Aruba.
[20:06.020]What is it with you and Aruba? Do you have a deal with the airlines?
[20:11.820]What do you say?
[20:13.390]Dr. Farber,we've got an emergency here.
[20:16.330]Jason Castalano 's choking on his retainer.
[20:19.230]Oh,God. I'll be right there,Bernice.
[20:22.230]Look,please don't go anywhere.
[20:24.570]I'll be right back.
[20:31.880]See how he was sweating when he walked out?
[20:35.180]If I'm hogging the ball, you jump right in there...
[20:38.720]...and take some punches. This feels great. …
[20:42.750]I'm pretty sure I'm still gonna marry him.
[20:46.520]What are you talking about?
[20:48.930]Mindy,the guy is the devil.
[20:51.930]He is Satan in a smock.
[20:54.770]I know he's not perfect.
[21:00.340]But the truth is at the end of the day,I still really wanna be...
[21:05.610]... Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber...
[21:09.580]... D. D.S. …
[21:12.250]Oh,God.
[21:14.250]I hope you can find a way to be happy for me.
[21:17.790]And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor.
[21:21.490]And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba.
[21:31.870]You okay?
[21:35.970]Really?
[21:39.810]Since I ran out on Barry at the wedding...
[21:42.650]...I've wondered whether I made the right choice.
[21:46.280]And now I know.
[21:48.920]I'm so glad.
[21:54.760]Big day.
[22:04.700]I'll give you this: Mr. Peanut is a better dresser.
[22:08.270]He's got the monocle, he's got the top hat....
[22:11.440]Did you know he's gay?
[22:16.480]I just wanna clarify this. Are you outing Mr. Peanut?
[22:23.120]Danielle,hi.
[22:24.790]Everybody,this is Danielle. Danielle,everybody.
[22:28.730]Why are you here?
[22:30.130]I've been calling, but I had your number wrong.
[22:33.500]When I got the right one, there was no answer.
[22:37.000]So I thought I'd come down here and make sure you were okay.
[22:41.640]I'm okay.
[22:42.940]Maybe we could get together later?
[22:50.620]You got it.
[22:56.620]-There you go. -Second date. -
[22:59.720]I don't know.
[23:01.690]You don't know?
[23:03.030]She seems nice,but her coming all the way here...
[23:06.860]...just to see if I was okay? I mean,how needy is that?