[00:20.-2]Do we have to know about that?
[01:02.-2]-Where have you been? -We stopped at the gift shop. -
[01:19.-3]The One With the Birth
[02:19.-1]I understand you're thinking of having a baby.
[02:30.-3]Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
[05:40.-1]Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack.
[08:36.-3]-She started it. -He did.
[10:16.-3]Are they here yet?
[10:47.-3]If you find anyone, or parts of anyone...
[11:19.-3]Push him out,push him out. Harder,harder.
[22:13.-1]Nothing. I don't think that's his name.
[00:06.92]She's having my baby, and she's not here yet.
[00:10.36]-Has her water broken yet? -I don't know. -
[00:13.46]When we talked,she said she'd already passed the mucous plug.
[00:22.63]What'll you do when you have a baby?
[00:25.20]I'll be in the waiting room, handing out cigars.
[00:28.87]Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s.
[00:34.78]She could be giving birth in the cab.
[00:38.08]Relax. It's only $2 for the first contraction...
[00:41.72]...and then 50 cents for each additional contraction.
[00:46.09]What,it's okay when Chandler does it?
[00:49.66]You have to pick your moments.
[00:52.83]Did I miss it?
[00:54.37]-She's not here yet. -What's with the guitar? -
[00:57.44]We might be here for a while. Things might get musical.
[01:05.78]I got this, and Susan wanted a Chunky.
[01:08.25]You're having a baby. You don't stop for Chunkies.
[01:12.72]I used to have that bumper sticker.
[01:16.19]You see what I mean?
[02:05.44]-"Stopped for a Chunky." -Let it go,Ross. -
[02:09.04]I got an extra one. You want this?
[02:15.08]-How's my favorite parenting team? -Dr. Franzblau. -
[02:22.15]I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start.
[02:26.76]-How are your contractions? -I love them. -
[02:33.60]-Every 4 minutes,lasting 55 seconds. -59 seconds. Quartz.
[02:38.87]Swiss quartz.
[02:42.37]-Am I allowed to drink anything? -lce chips. -
[02:45.58]-At the nurse's station. -I'll get it! -
[02:48.31]-No,I'll get it. -No,I'm getting it.
[02:52.32]Hi. Thought you might like some ice chips.
[02:56.29]-Thanks. -And if you need anything else l...
[02:59.69]...do not believe we've met.
[03:03.13]I'm Rachel Greene.
[03:04.80]I'm Carol's ex-husband's sister's roommate.
[03:08.53]Nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau.
[03:11.20]I'm your roommate's brother's ex-wife's obstetrician.
[03:16.54]Oh,that's funny.
[03:24.88]I want a baby.
[03:27.25]Not tonight,honey. I got an early day tomorrow.
[03:30.89]-Get up. Let's get some coffee. -Okay,because we never do that. -
[03:36.90]Shoot,shoot,shoot. Or just fall down. That's good too.
[03:42.17]Knick fan?
[03:43.54]-Oh,boy,do they suck. -Listen,lady -
[03:49.37]Look. Look at your man,Ewing.
[03:51.91]He couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat.
[03:55.61]-And who do you like? -Celtics. -
[03:58.28]Celtics? They couldn't hit a boat if
[04:01.75]Wait....
[04:04.59]They suck,all right?
[04:07.03]Shut up. It's a rebuilding year
[04:11.23]Let me get the father. We need a father over here.
[04:15.13]There's no father.
[04:18.74]-Oh,sorry. -That's okay. I'm fine. -
[04:24.54]Okay. Right this way.
[04:26.54]All the other pregnant women seem to be going in here.
[04:36.49]They're tiny and chubby And so sweet to touch
[04:40.33]But soon they'll grow up And resent you so much
[04:45.93]Now they're yelling at you And you don 't know why
[04:50.17]And you cry and you cry And you cry
[04:54.31]And you cry and you cry And you cry
[04:57.68]-Thanks,Ross. -I'm paying you to stop. -
[05:03.31]Oh,look,twins. Hi,guys. Oh,cute.
[05:08.52]No fair.
[05:09.85]I don't even have one. How come they get two?
[05:12.82]-You'll get one. -When? -
[05:15.69]Tell you what. When we're 40, if neither of us are married...
[05:20.83]...what do you say we have one?
[05:22.93]Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
[05:26.20]I just meant hypothetically.
[05:28.31]Hypothetically,why won't I be married when I'm 40?
[05:32.88]What is it? Is there something unmarriable about me?
[05:38.22]Well?
[05:47.56]Look at you,dressy-dress.
[05:50.23]Did you go home and change?
[05:52.10]It's an important day. I want to look nice.
[05:56.17]Has Dr. Franzblau been by?
[05:59.77]I haven't seen him.
[06:01.21]Where is he? He is supposed to be here.
[06:06.34]What if the baby needs him?
[06:08.51]What's the deal with you and doctors? Is your father a doctor?
[06:13.12]Yeah. Why?
[06:15.69]No reason.
[06:18.86]Mom,we've been through this.
[06:21.29]No,I am not calling him.
[06:24.13]I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk.
[06:27.47]No,I am not alone. Joey's here.
[06:32.04]What do you mean "Joey who"?
[06:34.04]Joey who?
[06:35.47]-Tribbiani. -Joey Tribbiani. -
[06:39.58]Yes. Okay. Hold on.
[06:43.82]She wants to talk to you.
[06:46.45]Take the phone.
[06:49.22]Yeah,it's me.
[06:52.39]No,we're just friends.
[06:55.29]Yeah,I'm single.
[06:57.73]Twenty-five. 25
[06:59.66]An actor. Hello?
[07:07.64]She's not much of a phone person.
[07:10.41]So,what's the deal with this father guy?
[07:14.31]If someone was having my baby, I'd wanna know about it.
[07:18.48]Hey,Knick fan,am I interested in your views on fatherhood? No.
[07:26.19]-Maybe I should just go. -Maybe you should. -
[07:29.53]Good luck...
[07:32.23]...and take care.
[07:40.47]The Celtics problem is that the players run the team.
[07:43.91]-That is so not true. -Oh,it is. -
[07:47.28]-Breathe. -Breathe. -
[07:49.88]You're gonna kill me.
[07:52.05]-Fifteen more seconds. 1 4,1 3,1 2 -Count faster.
[07:56.42]It'll be okay. IKeep focusing on Jordy. He'll be here soon.
[08:00.56]-Three. Two. Who the hell is Jordy? -Your son. -3,2,1.
[08:05.06]I don't have a son named Jordy. We all agreed on Jamie.
[08:09.30]Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend...
[08:12.60]...so we went back to Jordy.
[08:15.01]What do you mean,back to Jordy? We never landed on Jordy.
[08:19.34]We just passed by it during the whole Jesse-Cody-Dillon fiasco.
[08:24.52]Ow! Leg cramp!
[08:27.12]-I got it. -I got it. I'm doing it. -
[08:29.65]You get to sleep with her. I get the cramps.
[08:32.19]No,you don't.
[08:33.49]That is it. I want both of you out.
[08:37.66]I'm trying to get a person out of my body here...
[08:41.13]...and you're not making it any easier! Now go!
[08:47.21]-Thanks. -See what you did? -
[08:49.27]-Listen -Out!
[08:53.28]Breathe. Breathe.
[09:02.29]What is that? Something exploded.
[09:06.66]-That's not the baby,is it? -Her water broke. Calm down. -
[09:10.33]Water breaking? What do you mean? What's that?
[09:13.83]Breathe. Breathe.
[09:17.84]I'm okay. I'm okay. That's disgusting. I'm okay.
[09:23.57]-This is so your fault. -How is this my fault? -
[09:27.08]Carol never threw me out of a room before you.
[09:30.68]There's a lot of things Carol never did before me.
[09:34.89]-Are you trying to be clever? -You're so threatened by me. -
[09:39.42]Hey. Okay,all right. That's it. Get in here.
[09:43.73]My God,you guys. I don't believe you.
[09:47.40]There are children coming into the world here...
[09:50.74]...and your fighting isn't the first thing they should hear.
[09:54.44]So stop all the yelling! Just stop it!
[09:59.81]Don't make me do this again! I don't like my voice like this!
[10:08.65]Who wants to hear something ironic?
[10:18.26]Don't worry, we're gonna find them.
[10:20.80]And until we do, we are all here for you. Okay?
[10:25.77]You were telling me about Paris. It sounds wonderful.
[10:29.37]There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel
[10:34.18]There you go,dear.
[10:37.38]-You find them? -Not in the gift shop or cafeteria.... -
[10:41.22]Where are Phoebe and Joey?
[10:44.02]There's something sinister going on here.
[10:50.93]...scream. And scream again.
[10:58.00]-Help! -Come on!
[11:00.87]-I'm having a baby in there! -Hello!
[11:04.68]Okay,everyone stand back.
[11:10.55]Ow.
[11:12.75]All right,good thing we're in a hospital.
[11:16.72]Come on,Lydia,you can do it.
[11:22.33]Push him out,push him out. Way out.
[11:24.76]Let's get that ball and really move.
[11:27.83]Let's get
[11:31.04]I was just Yeah,okay. Push,push,push.
[11:37.71]What are you gonna do, suck the door open?
[11:42.85]Help! Help!
[11:46.48]And they found their bodies The very next day
[11:50.72]And they found their bodies The very next
[11:59.60]Mom,everything's going fine.
[12:01.93]Ross is great.
[12:04.37]He's in a whole other place.
[12:06.87]No,he's gone.
[12:09.07]No,you don't have to fly back. Really.
[12:12.51]What do you mean "This might be your only chance"? I'm only 26.
[12:17.28]I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
[12:33.06]-Where have you been? -I just had a baby. -
[12:37.77]Mazel tov.
[12:43.84]It could be one hour or three.
[12:46.01]But relax. She's doing great.
[12:48.45]So tell me,are you currently involved with anyone?
[12:53.92]Not at the moment,I'm not. Are you?
[12:57.59]No,it's hard enough to get women to go out with me.
[13:01.23]Right. Yeah,I've heard that about cute doctors.
[13:05.36]No,really. I suppose it's because I spend so much time,you know...
[13:11.27]...where I do.
[13:15.94]I try not to let work affect my personal life.
[13:19.18]But it's hard when,when you do what I do. It's,like....
[13:24.05]Well,for instance, what do you do?
[13:26.68]I'm a waitress.
[13:29.32]Aren't there times when you come home at night and you're,like:
[13:34.29]"If I see one more cup of coffee...."
[13:43.07]Gotcha.
[13:45.17]-I'm gonna check up on your friend. -That's fine. -
[13:58.08]-How'd you know I was here? -Your mom called me. -
[14:02.00]So is this her?
[14:04.09]No,this is a loaner.
[14:08.09]Ours is at the shop.
[14:10.80]God,I hope she has my brains.
[14:15.07]I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself.
[14:18.50]I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse and a helper guy.
[14:25.14]-So did you see who won the game? -The Knicks by 10. They suck. -
[14:31.82]They're not so bad.
[14:57.24]Come on. Come on.
[14:59.24]-You're doing it too hard. -You have to do it hard or else -
[15:04.62]Damn it. Damn it.
[15:06.15]Damn it,damn it. This is all your fault.
[15:08.69]This should be the greatest day of my life.
[15:11.49]My son is being born, and I should be in there.
[15:14.19]Instead,I'm stuck in a closet with you.
[15:16.76]I have been waiting for this as much as you.
[15:20.16]No one's been waiting for this as much as I have.
[15:23.53]You know what's funny?
[15:25.10]You go home with the baby. Where does that leave me?
[15:28.84]You're his father.
[15:30.47]Who am l? There's Father's Day. There's Mother's Day.
[15:34.61]There's no Lesbian Lover Day.
[15:37.15]Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
[15:42.45]This is so great.
[15:48.29]Do you wanna explain that?
[15:50.66]I mean,when I was growing up, my dad left...
[15:54.06]...and my mother died and my stepfather went to jail.
[15:58.07]I barely had enough pieces to make one whole parent.
[16:02.17]And here's this baby who has three whole parents...
[16:05.68]...who fight over who gets to love it the most...
[16:09.81]...and it's not even born yet.
[16:12.42]It's just the luckiest baby in the whole world.
[16:17.72]I'm sorry. You were fighting.
[16:21.93]Where are they?
[16:23.69]-They'll be here. -They wouldn't miss this. -
[16:26.76]Relax. You're only at 9 centimeters, and the baby's at zero station.
[16:35.14]You are really frightening me.
[16:39.14]Somebody wanna help me? Trying to rip out my heart.
[16:43.81]That's great. Anybody seen a nipple?
[16:48.65]Ten centimeters. Here we go.
[16:51.02]-Time to start pushing. -But they're not here yet. -
[16:54.49]-I can't tell the baby to wait. -Oh,God. -
[17:03.37]-Okay,got the vent open. -Hi,I'm Ben. -
[17:08.24]I'm hospital worker Ben.
[17:11.18]It's Ben to the rescue.
[17:15.71]Ben,you ready? Give me your foot.
[17:18.78]On three,Ben. One,two,three.
[17:23.25]Come on,Ben. That's it,Ben.
[17:27.36]What do you see?
[17:29.79]I see what appears to be a dark vent.
[17:33.13]Wait.
[17:34.57]Yes,it is,in fact,a dark vent.
[17:41.07]Pheebs,it's open. It's open.
[17:46.28]Wait. You forgot your legs.
[17:50.38]-Push. Push. -We're here. We're here. -
[17:54.89]Where have you been?
[17:57.45]Long story.
[17:58.76]I need you to keep pushing. I need Excuse me,can I have this?
[18:05.20]There's too many people here. There's about to be one more.
[18:09.57]So if you're not an ex-husband or lesbian life partner,out you go.
[18:16.01]-Bye-bye. -Good luck,you guys.
[18:18.44]Do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
[18:22.48]Out.
[18:26.18]Here he comes.
[18:27.52]Let me see. I've gotta see.
[18:34.79]A head.
[18:36.59]It's huge. How are you doing this?
[18:40.33]You're not helping.
[18:42.53]You're doing great.
[18:44.60]-Hello? -Oh,sorry.
[18:46.74]What do you see? What do you see?
[18:48.94]We got a head. We got arms. Oh,look at the little fingers.
[18:54.78]A chest and a stomach...
[18:56.81]...and it's a boy,definitely a boy.
[19:00.58]Legs,knees and feet.
[19:09.03]He's here.
[19:11.73]He's a person.
[19:14.23]-Look. -What does he look like?
[19:17.07]IKind of like my Uncle Ed, covered in Jell-O.
[19:21.27]Really?
[19:23.21]You guys,he's beautiful.
[19:25.71]Thanks,Pheebs.
[19:33.55]No shouting,but we still need a name for this little guy.
[19:39.06]-How about Ben? -I like Ben. -
[19:43.76]Ben.
[19:49.17]Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before?
[19:52.90]We just cooked it up.
[19:56.57]That's what we were off doing.
[20:01.75]-Can we come in? -Yeah,come on. -
[20:11.62]I know. I know.
[20:13.46]Everybody,there's someone I'd like you to meet.
[20:17.66]-This is Ben. -Hi,Ben.
[20:20.50]Ben,this is everybody.
[20:23.37]Susan,he looks just like you.
[20:28.71]Thanks.
[20:30.54]I can't believe one of us actually has one of these.
[20:34.11]I know. I still am one of these.
[20:40.55]Can l?
[20:43.69]Okay,the head. You gotta....
[20:55.13]I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes,I am.
[20:58.14]I'm your Aunt Monica.
[21:05.81]I will always have gum.
[21:12.38]Ben...
[21:14.15]... I want you to know that there may be some times when...
[21:18.22]... I may not be around like this.
[21:24.70]But I'll still always come back...
[21:28.43]...Iike this.
[21:31.37]And sometimes, I may be away longer...
[21:35.41]...Iike this.
[21:40.54]But I'll still always come back...
[21:45.75]...Iike this.
[21:48.62]And sometimes,I'll want you to steal third and I'll go like this:
[22:02.40]He is so amazing.
[22:04.53]Yeah,I know. Look at him.
[22:17.45]Look,he's closing his eyes.
[22:20.78]Look,he's opening his eyes.
[22:25.79]He doesn't do much,does he?
[22:28.49]Nope,this is pretty much it.
[22:38.50]You guys wanna get some coffee?
[22:42.24]I'll see you guys later.
[23:16.87]He's closing his eyes again.