So how was Joan? 琼安好不好？
Broke up with her. 跟她分手了
Oh,why? 为什么？
Don't tell me. Because of the big nostril thing? 别告诉我 因为鼻孔太大？
They were huge! 真的超大！
When she sneezed, bats flew out of them. 她打喷嚏时 会有蝙蝠飞出来
They were not that huge. 没那么大
I'm telling you,she leaned back, I could see her brain. 当她仰起头时 我可以看到她的脑子
How many women will you reject... 你到底要拒绝多少好女孩…
...over superficial, insignificant things 只是因为非常肤浅的事情？
Hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. 慢着，我必须帮钱德说话
When I first moved here, I went out with this girl. 我刚搬到这里时 与一个女孩交往
Really hot. Great kisser... 非常热情，很会接吻…
...but she had the biggest Adam's apple. 但是她的喉结非常大粒！
Drove me nuts. 真是让我受不了
-You or me? -I got it. 你还是我？ 我来好了
Joey,women don't have Adam's apples. 乔伊，女人没有喉结
You guys are messing with me,right? 你们是在骗我，对不对？
Yeah. We are! 对，我们在骗你！
That's a good one. For a second there,I was like,whoa! 真好笑 我差点上当了
六人行 第2季 第03集 海先生之死
You name one woman that you broke up with for an actual real reason. 你与哪个女友分手 是因为正当的理由？
Maureen Rasillo. 莫琳罗西洛
Because she doesn't hate Yanni is not a real reason. 因为她不讨厌音乐家雅尼 这不是个正当的理由
Hello,Mr. Heckles. 嗨，哈克先生
You're doing it again. 你们又来了
We're not doing anything. 我们什么都没做
You're stomping. It's disturbing my birds. 你们脚步声太响 吓到了我的鸟儿
You don't have birds. 你没有养鸟
I could have birds. 我可以养鸟
We'll try to keep it down. 我们会小声一点
Thank you. 谢谢
I'm going to rejoin my dinner party. 我要回去继续宴客了
All right,bye-bye. 好，再见
Okay,Janice. 对了，珍妮丝
Give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky. 珍妮丝可以证明 我并没有乱挑剔
We'll give you Janice. 我们同意你与珍妮丝分手
I miss Janice,though. 但我蛮想珍妮丝的
Hello,Chandler Bing! 嗨，钱德宝！
Oh,my God! 喔，我的天！
Oh,Chandler! 喔，钱德！
Now! Now! 现在就要！
That's it. 对了
There! Faster! 对了！快一点！
Stop with the broom! We're not making noise! 别用扫把了！ 我们没有制造噪音！
We won. 我们赢了
We did it! 我们胜利了！
Mr. Heckles! 哈克先生！
-How did this happen? -He was sweeping. 怎么发生的？ 他大概在扫地
They found a broom in his hand. 他们发现他抓着一把扫把
-That's terrible. -I know. 真糟糕 我知道
I was sweeping yesterday. 昨天我也在扫地
It could've been me. 搞不好也会一命呜呼
Sweeping. You never know. 扫地，真是天有不测风云
Never know. 世事难料
It's very faint,but I can still sense him in the building. 很微弱 但我还可以感觉他在大楼里
Go into the light,Mr. Heckles! 进入光芒中，哈克先生！
Okay,Phoebe. 好了，菲比
I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. 对不起 有时候他们需要帮助
Here we go. 又来了
That's fine,go ahead and scoff. 很好，嘲笑我吧
There are a lot of things I don't believe in... 我不相信很多事情…
... but that doesn't mean they're not true. 但这不表示就不是真的
Such as? 譬如什么事？
Like crop circles or the Bermuda Triangle or evolution. 像是玉米田图案或百慕达三角 或演化论
What,you don't believe in evolution? 你不相信进化论？
Not really. 不真的相信
You don't believe in evolution? 你不相信进化论？
I don't know. It's just,you know.... 我不知道，只是…
Monkeys,Darwin,it's a nice story. I just think it's a little too easy. 猴子，达尔文，很好的故事 我只是觉得有点太简单
"Too easy"? Too 太简单？太…
The process of every living thing on this planet evolving... 这个星球上的一切生物 经过数千万年…
...over millions of years from single-celled organisms is "too easy"? 从单细胞微生物进化而成 而你说太简单？
Yeah,I just don't buy it. 对，我不太相信
Excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy,Phoebe. 对不起 进化论不是信不信由你，菲比
Evolution is scientific fact, like the air we breathe... 进化论是科学事实 就像我们呼吸的空气…
...Iike gravity. 就像地心引力
Don't get me started on gravity. 别跟我提起地心引力
You don't believe in gravity? 你不相信地心引力？
Well,it's not so much that, you know,I don't believe in it. 倒不是相不相信的问题
Lately I get the feeling that... 最近我感觉到…
...I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed. 我不是被吸住，而是被压着
Pushed. 被压着…
It's lsaac Newton and he's pissed. 那是牛顿，他非常火大
There she is. And over there, that's the other one. 她在那边，那里还有另一个
This is Mr. Buddy Doyle, Heckles' attorney. 这是伯弟杜尔 哈克的律师
He'd like to talk to you. 他想跟你们谈谈
What can we do for you? 有何贵干？
All right,kids,here's the deal. 好了，孩子们 事情是这样的
According my client's will... 根据我客户的遗篷…
... he wants to leave all his earthly possessions... 他要把他所有财产…
...to "the noisy girls in the apartment above mine." 都留给楼上吵闹的女孩们
What about his family? 他的家人呢？
He didn't have any. 他没有家人
Okay,so let's talk money. 好，让我们看看有多少钱
All right,there was none. 好，没有半毛钱
Now,let's talk signing. 现在，我们来签字
You be noisy girl number one. You be noisy girl number two. 你是一号吵闹女孩 你是二号吵闹女孩
I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. 我真不相信 我们一直以为他讨厌我们
Isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life... 真是不可思议 我们能如此感动其他人…
...without even knowing it? 而自己却不知道？
Would you look at this dump? 看看这个猪窝？！
He hated us! This was his final revenge! 他痛恨我们！ 这是他最终的报复！
I've never seen so much crap! 我从来没看过这么多废物！
Actually,I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap. 我觉得这间公寓 侮辱了废物的美名
Check this out. 看看这个
Can I have this? 这个能给我吗？
How can you not believe in evolution? 你怎么能不相信进化论？
I don't know,just don't. Look at this funky shirt! 我不知道，就是不相信 看看这条怪衬衫！
Pheebs,I've studied evolution my entire adult life. 菲比 我整个成年都在研究进化论
And we've collected fossils from all over the world... 我们从世界各地搜集化石
...that actually show the evolution of different species. 能够证明不同物种的进化论
I mean,you can literally see them... 可以真正看到它们…
...evolving through time. 透过时间进化
Really? You can actually see it? 真的？可以看得到？
You bet! In the U.S., China,Africa,all over! 千真万确！在美国 中国，非洲，全世界！
See,I didn't know that. 这我不知道
Well,there you go. 这就是吧
So now the real question is, who put those fossils there and why? 所以真的问题是 谁把化石放在那里？为什么？
Look at this! My Big Book of Grievances. 看看这个！ 我的痛苦之书
Hey,there's me! 嘿，这是我！
"April 1 7th,excessive noise... 四月十七日，噪音过度…
... Italian guy comes home with a date." 意大利佬带了女伴回家
You're in here too. 你也在里面
"April 1 8th,excessive noise... 四月十八日，噪音过度…
... Italian guy's gay roommate brings home dry cleaning." 意大利佬的同性恋室友 带了干洗衣服回家
Well,that's excellent. 真是太好了
Look at this lamp. 看看这盏灯
Is this tacky or what? We have to have this. 真是够俗了 我们一定要带回去！
I think we have enough regular lamps. 我们的好台灯够多了
What? Come on,it's not like... 什么？好啦，我又不是…
... I'm asking for this girlie clock or anything. 要这个美女时钟或什么的
Which,by the way, I also think is really cool. 但我觉得这个也很酷
Look,it doesn't go with any of my stuff. 听着，它与我的东西都不搭配
Well,what about my stuff? 那么我的东西呢？
You don't have any stuff. 你没有任何东西
You still think of it as your apartment,don't you? 你还是认为那是你的公寓 对不对？
Yes,you do. 对，你是这么想
You think of it as your apartment and I just rent a room. 你把它想成是你的公寓 我只是租了个房间
While you "mmm" on that, I'll go find a place for my new lamp. 你支支吾吾的时候 我会为我的新台灯找个地方放
Okay,Pheebs. See how I'm making these little toys move? 菲比 看我玩这些小玩具
Opposable thumbs! 可对立的拇指！
Without evolution,how do you explain opposable thumbs? 没有进化论 怎么发展出可对立的拇指？
Maybe the Overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts. 也许外星主宰需要拇指 才能够驾驶飞碟
Tell me you're joking. 请说你是在开玩笑
Look,can't we say that you believe in something and I don't? 能不能说你相信进化论 而我不相信？
-No,Pheebs,we can't. -Why not? 不行，菲比，不能这样 为什么不行？
What is this obsessive need to make everybody agree with you? 为什么非得每个人都同意你？
No,what's that all about? You know what I think? 这是怎么回事？ 你知道我怎么想吗？
I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope. 我想你也许应该好好检视一下 罗斯这个生物了
Is there blood coming out of my ears? 我耳朵有没有流血？
Check it out. Heckles' high-school yearbook. 看看这个 哈克的高中同学录
He looks so normal! 他看起来好正常！
He's even kind of cute. 甚至有点可爱
"Heckles,you crack me up in science class. “哈克 你上科学课总是让我捧腹大笑”
You're the funniest kid in school." “你是全校最有趣的学生”
-Funniest? Heckles? -That's what it says. 最有趣？哈克？ 上面是这样写的
Heckles was voted class clown, and so was l. 哈克被选为班上的活宝 我也是
He was right! Would you listen to that? 他说得对！ 听听那个噪音？
I'd call that excessive. 的确是很吵闹
What? 什么？
Heckles played clarinet in band, and I played clarinet. 哈克在乐队演奏竖笛 我也是
He was in the scale modeler's club and I was 他参加模型俱乐部 我也…
There was no club, but I sure thought they were cool. 虽然我的学校没有俱乐部 但我觉得模型很酷
So? You were both dorks. 所以你们两个都是书呆子
Big deal. 没什么值得大惊小怪
I just think it's weird,you know? Heckles and me 我觉得很怪，哈克与我…
Heckles and me. Me 哈克与我，我…
Me and Heckles. 我与哈克
Hey,would you knock it off! 喂，别吵好不好！
Have you been here all night? 你整晚都在这里？
Look at this. 看看这个
Pictures of all the women Heckles went out with. 哈克交往过的女人照片
Look what he wrote on them. "Vivian,too tall." 看看他在上面写的 “薇安，太高大”
"Madge,big gums." “玛姬，牙龈太多”
"Too loud." “太大声”
"Too smart." "Makes noise when she eats." “太聪明” “吃东西发出声音”
This is me. 这就是我
This is what I do. 这就是我的作法
I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did. 我会像他一样孤独终老
Heckles was a nut case. 哈克是个神经病
Our trains are on the same track. 我们的人生道路方向一样
I'm coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same. 我比他晚了30年 但终点都是一样
Bitter Town... 愁苦城…
...Alone-ville,Hermit Junction! 孤独镇，隐士村！
You know what we gotta do? Get you out of here. 我们应该离开这里
I'll buy you breakfast. 我请你吃早餐
What if I never find somebody? Or worse,what if I found her... 要是我一直找不到伴侣？ 或更糟的，我已经找到了…
... but I dumped her because she pronounces it,"supposably"? 但我却因为她说“厚许” 就甩了她？
Chandler,come on, you're gonna find somebody. 钱德，好啦 你会找到对象的
How do you know that? How? 你怎么知道？
I don't know. I'm just trying to help you out. 我不知道 我只是想帮你下台
You guys will all get married... 你们将来都会结婚…
...and I'll end up alone. 我会孤独一人
Will you promise me something? 你能不能答应我一件事？
When you're married,will you invite me over for holidays? 你结婚后 过节时能不能请我去玩？
I don't know what we'll be doing. 我不知道我们会怎么样
I mean,what if we're over at her folks' place? 要是我与妻子 到我岳父母那里过节呢？
Yeah,I understand. 我了解
You can come over and watch the Super Bowl. 你可以过来看超级杯
Every year,all right? 每一年都来，怎么样？
You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. 我不要像这样子下场！
I'll see you,man. 待会见，兄弟
"Supposably." “厚许”…
Supposably! “厚许”！
Did they go to the zoo? 他们去动物园了吗？
Supposably. “厚许”吧…
Hi. It's me. 嗨，是我
Oh,my God! 我的天！
Janice? You called Janice? 珍妮丝？你打给珍妮丝？
Yes. Janice. 是的，珍妮丝
Why is that difficult to comprehend? 有什么难懂的？
You remember Janice,right? 你还记得珍妮丝吧？
Yes. She was smart,she was pretty and she honestly cared about me. 是啊，她很聪明，很漂亮 而且很关心我
Janice is my last chance to have somebody. 珍妮丝是我的最后一个希望
Oh,my God! 喔，天啊！
Jeez,look how fat she got. 她真是胖了不少
-Hey,it's everybody! -Hi,Janice. 嗨，大家都在这里！ 嗨，珍妮丝
Janice,you're.... 珍妮丝，你…
Yes,I am. 是的，我有了
-ls it? -ls it yours? 是不是… 是不是你的？
You wish,Chandler Bing! 没那么好的事，钱德宝！
You are looking at a married lady now. 我已经是少奶奶了
Congratulations. 恭喜
Sweetie,I'm sorry. 甜心，真抱歉
You couldn't tell me on the phone? 你不能在电话上告诉我吗？
And what? Miss the expression on your face? Oh,no! 要我错过看到你的表情？ 才不要！
Janice likes to have her fun! 珍妮丝喜欢乐子！
You know what we haven't played in a while? 你知道我们很久没玩什么吗？
Hide the lamp. 藏起台灯
Monica,let it go. 摩妮卡，算了吧
Did you know I'm allergic to shellfish? 你知道我对贝类过敏吗？
Then you'll just have to eat the other lamps. 那么你必须吃其他的台灯
It's scary scientist man. 可怕的科学家来了
Okay,Phoebe,this is it. 菲比，这些就是了
In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. 在这个手提箱中 我带来了真正的科学证据
A briefcase of facts,if you will. 可算是整个提箱的证据
Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old. 其中有些化石超过2亿年老
Before you even start, I'm not denying evolution. 我要先告诉你 我并不否定进化论
It's just one of the possibilities. 进化论只是可能性之一
It's the only possibility. 进化论是唯一的可能
Ross,could you just open your mind,like,this much? 罗斯 你能不能稍稍敞开心胸？
Didn't the brightest minds in the world believe the Earth was flat? 以前最聪明的人 不也相信地球是平的？
And up till 50 years ago,you thought the atom was the smallest thing... 五十年前，科学家认为 原子是最微小的事物
...until you split it open and this whole mess of crap came out. 后来科学家击碎了原子 于是产生了各种玩意…
Are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant... 难道你是如此自大…
...that you can't admit that there's a teeny,tiny possibility... 无法承认有一点点的可能…
...that you could be wrong about this? 你们科学家也许会犯错？
There might be... 是有一点点…
...a teeny... 一点点…
...tiny... 非常一点点…
... possibility. …的可能
I can't believe you caved. 我真不相信你屈服了
You just abandoned your whole belief system! 你放弃了你的整个信仰！
Before,I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. 以前我虽然不同意你 但我至少尊敬你
But.... 但是…
How are you gonna go into work tomorrow? 明天你要怎么继续研究？
How are you going to face the other science guys? 你要如何面对其他科学家？
How are you going to face yourself? 你要如何面对你自己？
That was fun. So who's hungry? 真好玩，有谁饿了？
I am. 我饿了
Me too. Let me just get my coat. 我也是 我去拿外套
What happened? 怎么了？
It was an accident,I swear. 这是意外，我发誓
I was putting on my jacket and the thing and the lamp and it broke. 我正在穿外套 台灯就破了
Oh,please,Monica! You've always hated my lamp! 拜托，摩妮卡！ 你痛恨我的台灯！
And now all of a sudden, it's just magically,it's just broken? 突然间 它就奇迹似地破了？
Phoebe,tell her? 菲比，告诉她
I didn't see it,because I was putting on my jacket. 我没看到 因为我正在穿外套
But I want to believe you. 但我想要相信你
Hey,Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp. 嗨，钱德 摩妮卡打破了我的贝壳台灯
Neat. 真好
I'm gonna die alone! 我会死得孤苦伶仃！
Okay,you win. 好，算你赢
Chandler,you are not gonna die alone. 钱德，你不会死得孤苦伶仃
Janice was my safety net,okay? 本来珍妮丝是我的安全保障
And now I have to get a snake. 现在我必须去养一条蛇了
Why is that? 为什么？
If I'm gonna be an old,lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing. 如果我会成为孤独老人 我需要养个东西
You know,a hook. 有个依靠
Like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. 就像地铁上那个吃自己脸的人
So I figure I'll be "Crazy Man With A Snake." 我会成为 “养蛇的疯老头”
Crazy Snake Man. 养蛇疯子
Then I'll get more snakes, call them my babies. 然后我会养更多蛇 当成我的子女
Kids will run past my place! 小孩都不敢经过我的门口！
"Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout! 他们会叫道： 养蛇疯子要来抓人了！
You've got to get over this. 你必须想开一点
You won't end up alone. 你不会孤苦伶仃
Of course I will. 我当然会
I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me... 我甩掉了所有 笨得愿意跟我交往的女孩
...and then I bitch that there aren't any great women out there. 然后我抱怨找不到好女孩
You have just described... 我们所交往的男人…
...virtually every man that we've ever gone out with. 就跟你所描述的一样
You are not a freak. You're a guy. 你没什么问题 你只是个平常人
She's right. 她说得对
You're no different than the rest. 你与其他人没什么不同
Wait a minute,wait a minute. Yes,he is. 等一下，等一下 他是不一样
You are totally different. 你其实很不一样
In a bad way? 很糟糕吗？
No,honey,in a wonderful way. 不，甜心，是很好的不一样
You know what you want now. 现在你知道你要什么了
Most guys don't even have a clue. 大多数男人根本不知道
You're ready to take risks,be vulnerable and intimate with someone. 你准备好接受风险了 准备好接受伤害，与人亲近
You're not gonna end up alone. 你不会孤苦伶仃的
You called Janice. That's how much you wanted to be with someone! 你打电话给珍妮丝 这证明你希望与人厮守终生！
-You've made it! -You're there! 你已经改变了！ 你不一样了！
You are ready to make a commitment! 你准备好做出承诺了！
Don't know about that! 但是自己却不知道！
What you got there? 你拿了什么？
Something else that's not yours that you can break? 不是你的东西 而你想要打破？
I know you like this and I want you to have it. 我知道你喜欢这个 我也要你收下它
It'll look good in our apartment. 在我们公寓会很好看
Thank you. 谢谢
That's fine. 没关系
You'll all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. 你们会很高兴知道 明天晚上我有约会
This woman Allison from work. She is great. 我的同事爱莉森 人很不错
She's pretty,she's smart. And I've been... 她又漂亮又聪明 我一直…
... holding off asking her out in the past,because she has a... 没有约她出来 因为她有一个…
... unusually large head. 不寻常的大头！
But I'm not going to let that stuff hang me up anymore. 但我不要让这种事情阻止我
Look at me. I'm growing. 看看我，我成熟了
You can't recycle yearbooks,can you? 同学录有没有回收？
I'll take that. 那个给我
You want his yearbook? 你要他的同学录？
Some people said nice things about him. Somebody should have it. 有人说了他的好话 应该留下来
Gosh,this is so weird. 这真的很奇怪
His whole life was in this apartment and now it's gone. 他整个生命都在这公寓度过 现在人去楼空
I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments for Mr. Heckles. 我想我们应该为 哈克先生默哀一会儿
He was kind of a pain. He was,but he was a person. 他是个麻烦人物 但他是个人物
You're all going to hell. 你们全都会下地狱
It's really not that big! 其实没有那么大！
-Taking that with you,huh? -Oh,yeah. 你要拿那个走吧？ 没错
You coming? 你来吗？
In a second. 等一下
Goodbye,Mr. Heckles. 再见，哈克先生
We'll try to keep it down. 我们会安静点
My major was useless. 我完全学非所用
How often do you look in the classifieds and see "Philosopher Wanted"? 报纸上什么时候看得到 “徵求哲学家”？
Sure. 对啊
My God,that's a big head! 天啊，那真是个大头！
It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. 在办公室看起来没这么大 也许是因为灯光
My head must look like a golf ball at work. 我的头在公司 一定像个高尔夫球那么小
Don't get hung up on it. Quick! List five things you like about her. 不要想了 快列出你喜欢她的五件事
Nice smile,good dresser. 笑容很美，衣着高雅
Big head,big head,big head! 大头，大头，还是大头！