[03:13.-2]I don't know.
[03:43.-2]You have a third nipple?
[06:42.-1]I see,I see. Because of the third-nipple thing.
[09:18.-2]I don't care if she tells you she wants it,she begs,she pleads...
[10:34.-1]-I'm gonna get changed. -Okay.
[11:58.-3]What is this in my pocket?
[16:59.-3]Who here does not have the time to get to know Julie?
[18:25.-1]...and my first-grade teacher was Mrs. Cobb.
[20:19.-3]I'm sorry.
[00:02.75]Mom,would you relax?
[00:05.12]That was 10 blocks from here, and she was walking alone at night.
[00:09.19]I would never do that.
[00:11.19]Mom,come on,stop worrying.
[00:13.86]This is a safe street. This is a safe building. There's nothing
[00:17.40]Oh,my God! What are you doing in here?!
[00:20.63]Mom,I gotta go! IT gotta go!
[00:25.74]Oh,my God!
[00:28.91]That's fine,you just read the paper.
[00:31.71]I'm gonna get a pot.
[00:34.08]It's not for you.
[00:41.25]Okay,that's fine.
[00:44.56]Read the Family Circus...
[00:48.29]...enjoy the gentle comedy....
[00:54.90]Oh,my God,my God,my God,my God....
[01:07.85]It's open,you guys.
[01:12.02]Can I help you?
[01:13.18]Does Phoebe still live here?
[01:15.49]No,she doesn't. But I can get a message to her.
[01:18.09]Great. Just tell her her husband stopped by.
[01:21.19]Her what?
[01:25.13]How did you do that?
[02:15.88]This is unbelievable,Pheebs. How can you be married?
[02:19.38]I'm not "married" married,you know?
[02:21.49]He's just a friend,and he's gay...
[02:23.32]...and he was from Canada, and he needed a Green Card.
[02:26.22]I can't believe you married Duncan!
[02:28.46]How could you not tell me? We told each other everything.
[02:32.40]I'm sorry,but I knew if I told you, you'd get judgmental...
[02:36.30]...and wouldn't approve.
[02:37.47]Of course I wouldn't approve!
[02:39.64]You were totally in love with this guy who,hello,was gay.
[02:42.94]What the hell were you thinking?
[02:44.94]See? And you thought she'd be judgmental.
[02:49.15]I wasn't in love with him. I was helping out a friend.
[02:52.52]When he left town,you stayed in your pajamas for a month.
[02:56.09]And I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
[03:01.66]Well,didn't you?
[03:03.83]I might have.
[03:06.33]I can't believe you didn't tell me.
[03:08.83]Like you tell me everything?
[03:10.50]What have I not told you?
[03:14.64]The fact that the underwear out on the telephone pole is yours...
[03:18.84]...from when you had sex with Bobby on the terrace!
[03:21.55]What?
[03:23.21]Wait a minute! Who told you?
[03:29.29]You are dead meat.
[03:31.46]I didn't know it was a big secret.
[03:34.26]Oh,it's not big. Not at all.
[03:36.46]IKind of the same as,say...
[03:38.30]... I don't know,having a third nipple!
[03:46.94]You bitch!
[03:51.94]Whip it out! Whip it out!
[03:54.28]There's nothing to see! It's a tiny bump. It's totally useless.
[03:58.42]As opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?
[04:03.12]I can't believe you! You told me it was a nubbin.
[04:08.49]Joey,what did you think a nubbin was?
[04:11.33]You see something,you hear a word, I thought that's what it was.
[04:15.50]-Let me see it again! -Yes,show us your nubbin!
[04:19.14]Joey was in a porno movie!
[04:24.48]If I'm going down, I'm taking everybody with me!
[04:28.51]-Oh,my God! -You were in a porno?!
[04:31.68]I was young and I just wanted a job.
[04:34.22]But I couldn't go through with it.
[04:36.52]They let me be the guy who fixes the copier but can't...
[04:39.66]...because there's people having sex on it.
[04:44.00]That is wild!
[04:46.66]-What's it shaped like? -ls it hairy?
[04:49.00]What happens if you flick it?
[04:58.48]So does it do anything, you know,special?
[05:02.41]Pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance...
[05:05.75]...to the magical land of Narnia.
[05:09.09]In some cultures,having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility.
[05:13.89]You get the best huts, and women dance naked around you.
[05:17.60]Are any of these cultures, per chance,in the Tri-State area?
[05:22.03]You know,you are so amazing. Is there anything you don't know?
[05:28.17]Julie's so smart! Julie's so special!
[05:32.88]I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did.
[05:36.18]But he's with her now. You'll have to get over it.
[05:39.88]Oh,I'm going to have to get over it.
[05:42.85]I didn't know that's what I had to do. I just have to get over it.
[05:51.43]-Sassy lady! -Where are you going?
[05:53.93]I'm meeting Duncan. He's skating tonight at the Garden.
[05:57.37]He's in the Capades.
[06:00.71]-The lce Capades? -No,the Gravel Capades.
[06:05.24]The turns aren't as fast, but when Snoopy falls? Funny.
[06:09.91]I can't believe you'd dress up for him.
[06:11.82]You're setting yourself up all over again.
[06:14.45]Okay,no.
[06:17.22]For your information,I'm seeing him so I can put those feelings behind me.
[06:22.29]The reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice...
[06:26.00]...to look nice for your gay husband.
[06:30.34]Darn it,we're all out of milk.
[06:32.80]Chandler,will you fill me up here?
[06:53.49]Okay,sweetie,I'll see you later.
[06:56.69]-See you later,Rach. -Bye-bye,Julie.
[07:10.04]Come on,cut it out!
[07:16.31]-Can I ask you something? -Sure.
[07:20.55]What?
[07:22.85]Come on,talk to me.
[07:26.29]What's the longest you've been in a relationship before...
[07:32.56]... having the sex?
[07:36.67]Why? Who's not? Are you and Julie not?
[07:39.34]Are you and Julie not having sex?
[07:44.01]Technically?
[07:46.04]No.
[07:49.48]Is it because she's so cold in bed?
[07:53.65]Or because she's kind of bossy, makes it feel like school?
[07:58.59]No! She's great. And it's not like we haven't done anything.
[08:03.66]We do plenty of other stuff. Lots of other stuff like
[08:07.37]No! Don't need to know the details.
[08:11.94]No,it's just....
[08:13.87]It's me.
[08:15.54]I've only been with one woman my whole life...
[08:18.84]...and she turned out to be a lesbian.
[08:22.41]So now I've got myself all psyched out.
[08:26.75]It's become,like,this...
[08:29.89]...this thing!
[08:33.93]You must just think I'm weird.
[08:36.39]No,I don't think it's weird.
[08:39.46]I think,in fact....
[08:42.20]-ln fact,you know what I think? -What?
[08:45.40]I think it's sexy.
[08:48.71]Sexy?
[08:49.87]Let me tell you something. As a woman...
[08:52.24]...there is nothing sexier...
[08:55.55]...than a man who does not want to have sex.
[09:00.15]No kidding?
[09:01.39]You know what I'd do?
[09:03.05]I'd wait.
[09:06.29]-You'd wait? -Absolutely. I would wait...
[09:09.66]...and wait....
[09:12.60]Then I'd wait some more.
[09:16.67]Really?
[09:22.24]...she tells you she's gonna have sex with another man
[09:26.24]That just means it's working.
[09:31.18]Women really want this?
[09:33.75]More than jewelry.
[09:58.21]Look at you! You look great!
[10:00.81]Do l? Thank you.
[10:03.31]So do you. Sparkly!
[10:11.19]This is pretty wonderful, Mr. Major Capades Guy!
[10:16.00]I remember when you were just King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice Is Nice.
[10:22.20]You always said I'd make it.
[10:24.17]Well,you know, I'm kind of spooky that way.
[10:29.04]Gosh,I missed you!
[10:38.92]Now.
[10:42.69]Oh! Right. Okay.
[10:45.56]Ole!
[10:47.06]What?
[10:49.59]The Matador....
[10:55.17]Ole!
[11:01.61]Sweetie,can you hold this for a second?
[11:14.39]Sorry,you had a paleontologist on your face.
[11:18.06]But it's gone now. You're all right.
[11:20.46]Hi,everyone.
[11:25.10]I wanted to thank you for our little talk before.
[11:28.60]No problem! So you're gonna go with the waiting thing?
[11:32.37]I was going to,but after I talked to you,I talked to Joey.
[11:40.54]Good. What did he say?
[11:42.65]He told me to get over myself and just do it.
[11:46.12]I thought about what you said and about what he said.
[11:49.25]And his way,I get to have sex tonight,so....
[12:01.00]Why,it's Joey's porno movie!
[12:05.84]Pop it in!
[12:07.84]I'm fine,if you're okay watching a video...
[12:10.41]...filled with two-nippled people.
[12:16.11]People having sex. That's just what I need to see.
[12:19.32]What's wrong with people having sex?
[12:24.19]Well,you know,these movies are offensive...
[12:29.00]...and degrading to women and females....
[12:35.27]And the lighting's always unflattering.
[12:41.54]-Monica,help me out here. -Hell,I wanna see Joey!
[12:51.55]So is there a story? Or do they just start doing it right
[12:55.82]Oh. Never mind.
[12:58.00]Wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.
[13:03.39]All I say is,she'd better get the job.
[13:06.03]Looks to me like he's the one getting the job.
[13:11.24]Here I come.
[13:12.80]See,I'm coming to fix the copier.
[13:14.87]I can't get to the copier. I'm thinking,"What do I do?"
[13:20.34]So I just watch them have sex.
[13:26.22]Then I say Here's my line!
[13:28.05]You know,that's bad for the paper tray.
[13:33.00]Nice work,my friend!
[13:34.69]Wait,you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me.
[13:39.93]There I am. There I am. There I am....
[13:50.88]So what's up? You came to see me yesterday.
[13:59.88]I kind of need a divorce.
[14:02.45]O...
[14:04.09]... kay.
[14:05.86]How come?
[14:08.09]Actually,I'm getting married again.
[14:11.06]What?
[14:12.46]I don't know how to tell you this.
[14:16.87]I'm straight.
[14:22.47]I don't understand. How can you be straight?
[14:26.04]You're so smart and funny...
[14:28.65]...and you throw such great Academy Award parties!
[14:31.75]That's what I kept telling myself.
[14:34.39]But you reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.
[14:39.16]How long have you known?
[14:43.06]I guess on some level I always knew I was straight.
[14:47.46]I thought I was supposed to be something else.
[14:49.80]I'm an ice dancer,all my friends are gay. I was just trying to fit in.
[14:57.74]And there's actually a woman?
[15:01.65]Her name's Debra.
[15:06.15]Well,is she the first that you've been with?
[15:10.82]I've never told you this...
[15:14.00]... but there were one or two times back in college when...
[15:18.46]... I'd get drunk, go to a straight bar...
[15:20.76]...and wake up with a woman next to me.
[15:24.00]I told myself it was the liquor, and everyone experiments in college.
[15:29.94]Sure.
[15:31.18]Now I know I don't have a choice. I was born this way!
[15:38.28]I don't know what to say.
[15:41.02]You're married to someone for six years and you think you know him.
[15:45.06]And then one day he says, "Oh,I'm not gay!"
[15:53.30]I'm still me.
[15:57.53]Why couldn't you just have figured this out six years ago?
[16:03.64]You know,it still smells like monkey in there.
[16:08.71]That saves us the conversation.
[16:12.75]This has been great, but I'm officially wiped.
[16:15.69]Me too. We should get going.
[16:18.19]No! Come on,you guys!
[16:22.19]Come on,it's only 1 1 :30.
[16:24.70]Let's just talk. We never just hang out and talk anymore.
[16:29.07]Rachel,that's all we do.
[16:33.20]Maybe that's all we do. What about Julie?
[16:37.21]What about Julie?
[16:39.21]You have been in our lives for nearly two months now...
[16:43.61]...and we don't really know you.
[16:45.75]I mean,who is Julie?
[16:48.79]What do you like? What don't you like?
[16:51.12]We want to know everything.
[16:53.69]Well,that could take awhile.
[16:56.19]So?
[17:02.63]I got the time to get to know Julie.
[17:07.24]I know her pretty well. Can I go?
[17:12.24]That's fine.
[17:13.71]Let's start with your childhood. What was that like?
[17:18.72]In a nutshell
[17:24.29]So,have you told your parents?
[17:27.46]No,but it'll be okay. They're pretty cool.
[17:30.66]My brother's straight,so....
[17:34.57]Here you go.
[17:36.17]You know what? I just have one more question.
[17:39.14]If you had figured this out sooner, and I had been around...
[17:44.34]...do you think l would have been the one...?
[17:48.91]No. Don't tell me.
[17:50.35]I don't think either answer would make me feel better. Here.
[17:56.32]I love you,Phoebe.
[18:12.80]So your brother's straight,huh?
[18:16.77]Seriously.
[18:21.38]and my second-grade teacher was Miss Thomas...
[18:28.45]Mrs. Gobb?
[18:30.22]No,Cobb. Like cobb salad.
[18:36.03]What exactly is in a cobb salad?
[18:38.36]I'm going home.
[18:45.00]Boy,that Julie's a talker,huh?
[18:49.37]Good night.
[18:54.21]It's pretty late. You're probably not still planning on....
[18:58.35]No,I am.
[19:00.88]Are you nervous?
[19:05.69]I have done it before.
[19:09.03]I mean,how are you gonna handle it?
[19:11.56]Are you gonna talk about it beforehand? Are you just gonna pounce?
[19:16.93]I don't know. I guess I'm just gonna...
[19:19.84]...see what happens.
[19:23.37]Good luck!
[19:27.74]What?
[19:29.28]Nothing....
[19:31.75]It is your first time with her, and if the first time doesn't go well...
[19:37.12]...well then,that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
[19:43.03]Okay,now I'm nervous.
[19:47.60]Maybe you should put it off.
[19:49.87]No,I don't want to put it off!
[19:56.54]I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable.
[20:00.08]And now I'm actually happy.
[20:04.92]You know,I mean really happy.
[20:07.48]I just don't wanna....
[20:09.79]I don't wanna mess it up,you know?
[20:14.66]I know.
[20:21.17]It's not your fault.
[20:23.17]Right.
[20:26.30]Maybe it doesn't have to be this tough.
[20:29.61]Maybe you were on the right track with that whole "spontaneous" thing.
[20:35.08]-Women really like that. -Really?
[20:40.92]I mean if it were me, I'd want you to....
[20:44.86]I don't know,catch me off guard with a really...
[20:49.36]...good kiss.
[20:53.46]Really sort of soft at first.
[20:58.50]And then maybe brush the hair away from my face.
[21:03.94]And then look far into my eyes...
[21:08.31]...in a way that lets me know something...
[21:12.18]...amazing is about to happen.
[21:21.02]And then,I don't know,then...
[21:23.19]...you'd pull me really close to you so that...
[21:26.36]...so that I'd be pressed up right against you.
[21:32.34]And it would get kind of...
[21:36.24]...sweaty...
[21:40.21]...and blurry.
[21:44.58]And then it's just happening.
[21:54.00]Thanks,Rach. Good night!
[22:00.10]Oh,God!
[22:17.11]Good morning!
[22:19.68]Well,somebody got some last night!
[22:27.66]Twice!